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Readers Respond: Your Tips for Grandparenting a Child with Autism

Responses: 7

From , former About.com Guide

Updated October 27, 2009

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If you're a grandparent, you know a lot about children. But if you're you the grandparent of a child with autism, everything you know may go out the window. What are the challenges you face in connecting with your grandchild? What tips can you share for building a bond with an autistic grandchild?

Guest Mary

If you are raising grandchildren on the autism spectrum, please contact your regional center for 'Respite' information; which can provide some low/no-cost hours of child care.Also there are I.E.P. and school program professionals to help guide you thru the system. My twin grandsons were diagnosed when my daughter was pg with another boy - all 3 on the spectrum. ABA therapy has been miraculous; they are all mainstreamed @ school - each boy has an aide and are academically at peer level. Are they cute, funny and sweet? Yes. Is it exhausting to care for them? Yes, even for a few hours (total vigilence required!)and I can't imagine doing it full-time, like my daughter. These precious kids did not choose autism and depend on us to guide and keep them safe. Remember to read 'Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wants You to Know' and give a copy to their teachers/family members. Bless every parent/grandparent caring for individuals with ASD.
—Mary.Donham

Tip Towards Better Communication

My 4-year-old grandson was diagnosed with severe autism. I am a believer in the "window of learning" greatly decreasing after age 5, so I am spending a minimum of 40 hours per week with my grandson, Sam. Sam loves geometric shapes and is capable of naming all 2 dimensional shapes having up to 10 sides (and does so at sight, not by counting the sides) and many 3-dimensional shapes. I find that if I can incorporate shapes into a learning skill, Sam is very receptive and comprehends all. Here is my latest success story: Sam seemed incapable of understanding emotions. We started with circles, octagons, and hexagons. I drew smiles and frowns on each, and we labeled them "Sad" or "Happy". We put them on the refrigerator, and each morning I would ask Sam to find one of them. He can identify all, and if we take them all off and then match them with their phrases, i.e. "Happy Octagon", Sam matches them all with zero errors. He is now commenting on crying children, labeling them as sad.
—Guest The Grandma

Grandmother

our daughter has two autistic sons. I have found that going to the therapy has really helped in understanding what is going on in these little boys. I was living in the next state and found it hard to make all of the sessions, but going to the ones I could helped not only myself, my daughter, but also brought me closer to my grandson. If you live farther away, go and visit and attend all of the therapies you can while you are there.
—Guest Marla

Learning to breath under water

Our daughter got a diagnosis for two of her four children last fall, her oldest son (6) and her youngest (now 3). It was traumatic. The worst of it is none of the family live anywhere near her. We go visit as often as we can. We are amazed at the "out of pocket costs" they are facing. There are so many needs these kids have, and it is like joining the CIA to get help. She has spent half of her time filling out paperwork and getting doctors appts, therapy, special programs, etc. Right now I am trying to help her find a used safe bed for the youngest, most severely involved, child. I don't know how the grandparents are able to cope with actually raising children on the spectrum. It's both physically and emotionally overwhelming. We are in our sixties and I can't even imagine the task.........God Bless You. Glenda
—Guest Glenda

Grams

Grandparents of an autistic child is SO important. Support of the parents and having the child just KNOW that we are there for him and letting him know that he is loved is SO very important. I am a grandmother HAS been there for my grandson and he knows that my husband and I love him very much. That IS the most important thing that can be done.
—Guest Jill Blakeley

Raising Autistic Grandchildren

The 1st child came to us at 10months. The step-brother came to me at 16 1/2 yrs. The little guy is now 6/7. I am seeking "family" counseling for us, and I pray constantly for "enlightenment." It is a constant stuggle in the school system for the older child. Stand FIRM, and know YOUR RIGHTS! Research, ask questions, make phone calls. NEVER GIVE UP! If they can't count on you, who will they have?
—WitnessWarrior1

navigating through an unfair system

I am a grandmother trying to raise 2 grandsons with multiple issues and autism 1 grandson is in dcf care but living with me and they have put him in a 45 day assessment program after not providing services to this child that he needed and my fear is they won't return him after the 45 days he is very tramatized by this action can someone please help me and this child.
—Guest Kathy Ayala

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