If you're a parent with a child on the spectrum, you've probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here's a handy list of responses that...you'll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!
1. He cant be autistic -- he can talk! (or make eye contact, smile, engage)And yet, amazingly, hes still autistic! Ysee, autism is a spectrum disorder, and that means
2. Oh, she must be SO good at math! (or science or music)Actually, her great talent is in memorizing and reciting lines from Sponge Bob videos! (Or those annoying Thomas the Tank Engine songs!)
3. All he needs is more discipline, and hell get the message.Yup, its true -- if you give a child enough time outs, hell just stop being autistic. And if I speak French to you loudly enough, youll become fluent!
4. You poor thing, it must be so upsetting to have a child with a disability.Yes, it can be hard. And pity really helps me to get through the day and feel better about myself and my child. So
thanks so much!
5. Will he be able to go to college (or get married or hold down a job)?Hm. Good question. By the way, has your daughters divorce been finalized yet? And Im so sorry to hear that your son was recently laid off from his job
6. I have a friend whose child was autistic, and she cured him!Wow! So I guess shes enjoying the millions she made after figuring out how to cure autism? I bet her second home is a yacht!
7. If she cant behave properly, you shouldnt BRING her to the grocery store!Wow -- that would be great. Should I fax you my grocery list, or send it by email? Ill really enjoy the delivery service!
8. We cant include him in typical classes, it wouldnt be fair to the other kids.Hm, thats an interesting perspective. So I guess you have a pretty big endowment to pay for all the law suits? That must be great!
9. We cant accept her at our school because she doesnt have a learning disabilityOhhhh
what a shame! Oh, wait, look, shes suddenly developed dyslexia! Can she come to your school now?
10. You should make more time for yourself!Youre so right! So will you be babysitting tonight or tomorrow night?