Should You Quit Your Job to Raise an Autistic Child?

When a child is diagnosed with autism—typically by the age of 2 or older—life seems to go into overdrive. There are healthcare provider appointments and information, therapists to visit, home aides to manage, and books and websites to read.

Your at-home time, relaxing in the yard or watching a video, suddenly becomes "therapy" time as you work to build communication, social, and play skills. Some parents wonder whether the best option is to simply stop working full-time in order to focus on the needs of an autistic child.

This article explores the challenges of a whole new world of responsibilities with autistic kids while also meeting your employer's expectations. It discusses the pros and cons of working less or not at all.

Different Situations Require Different Solutions

No matter your personal feelings or stress level, your options on whether and how to work while raising an autistic child will be limited by your resources and budget.

Whatever choice you make, it's important to know that autistic children are unpredictable. Costly therapies and lots of guardian time can have great results, but those results aren't guaranteed.

By the same token, some autistic children flourish in public schools with publicly-funded programs and therapists in settings that rely on the care and involvement of other adults.

Single Parents or Guardians

If you're a single parent or guardian, you may have no choice but to take the services offered to you through your local school district or agency. If you have trusted friends and family, try reaching out to them for support.

School, early intervention, or county programs aren't "lesser" options for therapies. They're likely to include several different types of therapies offered by trained staff that can benefit your autistic child.

You can provide more when you get home from work. The focused time with an autistic kid, when you get home, will help fill in any gaps.

Couples

For coupled parents or guardians, the choices are trickier. In many cases, assuming you're willing to make sacrifices, it is possible for one parent or guardian to quit their job to care for an autistic child.

That means there's a decision to be made. The decision is made easy if the highest earner stays at their job. But what if the higher earner is also the guardian who's most eager to manage services and work with the child in a home setting?

The idea of forgoing work to care for a child may cross any guardian's mind, regardless of gender or partner role. But it is realistic and reasonable for the worker with health benefits, for example, to keep their job while the other guardian leaves work to center the child.

Keep in mind that plenty of caregivers quit their jobs in order to be available to their neurotypical kids, at least temporarily. An autistic child has similar, and most often greater, needs to be met.

Tips for Deciding Whether to Stay Home or Not

The decision to become a stay-at-home autism guardian is very personal. Even if you have the money and resources, your family may have excellent reasons to decide against it.

To make your own decision, consider your answers to these questions.

Can you afford it? 

Can your partner or another family member's salary really pay for the life you'll now need to afford? Are there alternatives, like sharing space or cutting expenses? If not, consider that your child won't be well-served if you're always worried about making ends meet or resentful of the sacrifices "required" by an autistic child.

Does your child need your full-time attention? 

Some autistic children are able to function quite well in public settings and need relatively little therapy outside of the school setting. Others have higher support needs and more challenging behaviors. In some cases, a leave-of-absence can allow you to set up the right situation for the child in your care—and you can return to work feeling that they are in good hands.

How good are the services in your area? 

In some places, the autistic child will have automatic access to a range of therapies (occupational therapy, speech therapy, social skills therapy) without you committing a great deal of time. In other communities, it's really up to you to advocate, pay for, and/or provide therapies. Consider if you're better off leaving a job, moving, or looking for private options that are a better fit.

Do you want to be a full-time companion? 

Not all guardians are prepared or able to spend a 12- or 18-hour day with an autistic child, every day. If the thought of doing more than a few hours of at-home therapy is daunting rather than energizing, your family may be better served by taking advantage of affordable professional services. If cost is a barrier, consider forming a team of trusted friends and family to care for your autistic child.

Summary

Some people love their career and colleagues. If you're truly happy at work, leaving for a child's benefit can cause resentment and frustration. On the other hand, caring for your autistic child isn't really an excuse to leave a job you want to quit.

Be sure you're making the right decision for the right reasons, and don't hesitate to discuss options with family and your child's healthcare team.