If romance were easy, we'd never need Match.com... never see another romantic comedy... and end the soap opera forever. In fact, very few people in the world find it easy to find, attract and keep a romantic partner.
The movie "Adam" seems to suggest that a man with Asperger syndrome can attract a gorgeous neighbor simply by being kind and guileless... (and of course it doesn't hurt to be handsome as well). But even in the movies the relationship ends -- in large part because the partner with an autism spectrum disorder has a tough time distinguishing a romantic partner from a coach.
Today, I received this email from an adult with Aspergers who wonders whether romance is out of the question for him. Here's his question:
I am a 22 y/o male living w/ AS and I honestly don't know if it is a legitimate thing for me to blame it on my utter failures w/ women. Any time I've been attracted to a girl, I've either never had the courage to approach them w/ my feelings, or have been shut down or discarded. Through many years, I fear that I have built up a bitterness toward women in general, and find most of them to be unapproachable, undependable and ultimately not worth the suffering. Is this just a defensive mechanism that will someday pass, or have I scarred myself indefinitely? What are your thoughts?
So... what are your thoughts? If you were this person, how would you begin to rebuild your confidence - and, more importantly, what are your suggestions relative to starting, building and nurturing a real romantic relationship?