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Married or Partnered and Living with Aspergers? Find Support Here

By September 29, 2009

Just yesterday, I received an email from a reader asking about support groups for spouses of adults with Asperger syndrome:

I am looking for a support system as the wife, for 15 years, to a person with Asperger's.  We just this June realized he, and our 14 year old son, have most/many signs of Aspergers.

My husband sees the only therapist, in a nearby city (45 minutes away), who is familiar with Aspergers.  We live in a very rural area; I believer there are support groups in a city over an hour away - too far to travel - is there anything on the internet that you know of?

I did a Google search, but found very little out there.  It seemed to me this was a problem I could solve - by creating an area on the Autism.About.Com forum where spouses/partners of people on the autism spectrum can share their feelings, resources, insights and frustrations.  JOIN THE CONVERSATION!

It also occurred to me that there are remarkably few places where married/partnered adults who have recently discovered they are diagnosable with autism can share their thoughts and feelings.  So I've created a thread specifically for adults on the spectrum.  JOIN THE CONVERSATION!

Lastly, while I know that all partnered relationships have a good deal in common, I also know that gay and lesbian couples have unique concerns.  With that in mind, I've created a third thread specifically for gay/lesbian couples living with Asperger syndrome. JOIN THE CONVERSATION!

Let me know if you make use of these areas whether they're helpful for you. And let me know, too, if there are other special interest groups that could benefit from an online forum/support.

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September 29, 2009 at 12:30 pm
(1) Bill says:

Be careful about support groups! Revealing you have Asperger’s can destroy your career! The other adults you meet may not keep your secret; in fact they are less likely than neurotypicals to keep your secret- remember they have an autistic inability to see things from your perspective and not natter about seeing you at an Asperger’s meeting!
I experimented with revealing to co-workers that I have Asperger’s and it was disastrous!

September 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm
(2) autism says:

As a followup to Bill: you can always use a screen name on the forum, and your email address is not revealed. No need to reveal personal information.


September 30, 2009 at 3:32 am
(3) NorwayMom says:

I have some Asperger relationship-related links collected here:


October 2, 2009 at 2:44 am
(4) AspieMom says:

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lisa! Even if it doesn’t work out, thank you for caring enough to at least do *something* to try and help.

October 2, 2009 at 7:01 am
(5) autism says:

thanks, AspieMom. I can’t say it’s a roaring success so far, but I’ll try promoting more and see what happens!


December 30, 2009 at 5:53 am
(6) Cynthia says:

Dealing with aspergers in each individual is different. My husband is very affectionate toward me while the rest of the world doesn’t matter. One shouldn’t hide their mental illness. To ruin your carreer is discrimination. I too have a mental illness. But could not be happier!!!
Plz feel free to e-mail me beautifulchaos_666@yahoo.com

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