Autism's Blessings
My son with ASD perhaps has a blessing: he appears to have been spared the petty emotions of normal folks. I imagine how it would have been not to have known jealousy, envy, greed, lust, sloth, hatred, etcThis really struck me because the fact is that my son, Tom, fits this description almost to a "t." Of course, like anyone else, he prefers relaxing to working... he'd rather be comfortable than not... and he likes some people more than he likes others. But because of his autism, he is less aware of (and thus less concerned about) the judgements of others. Peer pressure is a non-issue. Jealousy is a concern only rarely, and it never becomes an obsession.
What's more Tom, at age 11 and a half, truly doesn't care what's "normal" for boys his age. As a result, he's utterly unselfconscious about enjoying visits to the art museum, playing classical music, hanging out with his little sister, or watching Disney movies.
Of course, there are many ways in which boys Tom's age are way beyond him in understanding how the world works. Yes, we've explained sex to him but no, he doesn't really care much about it. I'm not sure he even grasps the concepts of style and fashion (though he does get grooming!). And while other boys his age are busy rejecting mom and dad, Tom is actively enjoying being homeschooled by - mom and dad.
As a parent, it's hard for me to see these traits as failings. In fact, what they mean to us is - Tom allows himself to pursue his own interests and talents without concern for what others may think. Where those interests will lead him, it's hard to know... but because he's okay with exploring those interests (even to the exclusion of sports, technology and hanging out), we're thinking he may go a long way.
That does seem an awful lot like a blessing.
Comments
The first on line support group I belonged to was called a blessing in disguise. Many times people focus on all the bad horrible things and forget there are many different great blessings to autism as well.
My son more experiences the misinterpretation of social intent and will obsess on what he believes it to be. My son spends more time calculating his every move in order to figure out the social setting than he does just being himself. He’d rather be extremely passive than make a mistake, smile or talk.
On the plus side, with out his autism, I would never had seen a world through him. The way he sees things is very interesting and amazing. He sees things I myself would have simply over looked and never given it another thought. He was also born with people fear, something of which all parents try to teach their kid to some extent. People can be very mean, I think my kid was born with the right idea. He is skeptical of everyone. My son is aware of his differences but I really think the key to self confidence and letting him know “who cares that he’s different?” Everyone is, and his different does not mean it is wrong or bad. No one should grow up feeling they are so different that it’s unacceptable. He has things he does very well, above his peers and we strive to make the things he does well to help gain self confidence. Maybe it’s because of autism that makes him better at these things, maybe it’s because he’s one cool boy?
Seems like there’s alot of parents who get sick of hearing how deficient their children supposedly are…
Take a look at PosAutive.org
I dont look at Autism as a burden as some do I look at it as a different way of learning, and approach to the world as we know it to be. There are times I wonder if we can all take a lesson from children who are autistic. I think they view the world and basic surroundings in ways we will never see,enjoy or understand.
through the eyes and ears of Autism
through the mind of Autism
Its an interesting world out there
The autistic are just seeing it from a different perspective…but they see others perspectives and do not know how to deal with them.
the learning disabled amongst them,those less verbal from a younger age look around them and wonder how to communicate what they want what they think and what they see others do.
I want that picked up cleaned up sorted we might think…we say just that.
they might pull someones hair to get their attention throw food or items around to make more of a mess with the aim of it getting sorted because they did something to get it done.
they do not understand that they could just do it themselves.
they might not know soemone else is bound to do it in a minute,an hour or a day..What do i do to get her/him to do it now is what they think and when they have had a good dressing down for the mess and problem deemed necessary by them they might say”sorry couldnt get my words out” sorry didnt know how to get you to pick it up”
But you just did falls on deaf ears does it..it may do..and deaf they might be even for a moment whilst they appear to hear normlly and may hear normally later.
Its a world i have tried to understand for many years..my son is still teaching me!
My two sons have many qualities that much of man kind could do with acquiring. Their lives are an open book. They have no hidden meanings or agendas. They say what they mean and expect others to do likewise. They deal in honesty and truth and can not understand why that should be so difficult for other people to understand, or why others do not follow their example. What you see is what you get with my sons. They have no desire to buy or wear the latest fashion gimmick not spend tons of money on meaningless accessories. Both of my sons have a huge sense of family. How many other kids these days have that sense of family or hold family values close to them? They also have a huge sense of right and wrong and although that can be very black or white it is usually a valid perspective of things.
Maybe it is the sheer transparency of my kids and others like them that make some people feel threatened by their being. Maybe their view of the world is too close for comfort for some people and clearly shows them their own short comings. Maybe people enjoy living with their hidden meanings and agendas too much to give them up along with their latest fashion accessory. I can’t quite understand why governments are willing to sign up to and spend money to wipe out something like autism alongside spending one hundred times as much fighting wars, where people are killed and injured. People with autism are not terrorists and nor should they be treated as such. People with autism have much to give to this world if only they are given the chance. I would like autism awareness day 2008 to carry the message that people with autism need to be helped to reach their potential and not eradicated.
Apologies I just realised that I went way off topic here.
Tom is blessed to have parents that understand blessings. For some, obstacles are opportunities for character to deliver the greatest measures of our humanity. Peace to you.
u made me understand my boy alot better today! i believe each day is a blessing with these boys! and he does love being homeschooled and so do i has his mom! and yes he loves his little sister and disney too! i love that he doenst have to grow up and he can be my little boy for ever! his proud mom