The Autism.About.Com Forum is home to a supportive community of people, all of whom are coping with aspects of life on the autism spectrum. Every now and then, I dip into the forum to find questions, ideas and advice to include in articles or on the blog.
Today, I found an amazing depth of knowledge and experience on the forum in response to the following question:
I'm a new member to this forum and thought that I would say hello. I had some questions about how to find reliable occasional child care for my two children. The younger child is high functioning autistic and I find it difficult to "let go". I am a stay-at-home mom who's not getting many date nights anymore and I am missing them. I would like to try to find someone other than grandparents to rely on. Any suggestions?One poster, Caroline, suggests these sources for people willing and able to babysit a child with autism:
- Dad
- Having their child's Special Education Assistant babysit occassionally.
- Using Respite Care services
- Talking to other parents at school to see who they suggest
- Older niece/nephew
- Any other relative
- S omeone who the child already knows
- Calling up Community support services such as Autism society, Community integration services, or your social worker if you have one (special needs social worker, not CP). They may be able to provide a list of qualified people who are looking for more work, even occasionally.
If you have advice based on your own experience, I hope you'll pick up the conversation on the forum - and/or post your thoughts right here.
Just a couple more possibilities:
If there is a college campus nearby, students from the pscyhology or education departments might be helpful. I’ve posted ads on college bulletin boards before.
Many churches offer respite nights free of charge for families of kids with special needs.
It’s difficult, but it is important to get out every now and then.
I completely understand how you feel! I too cannot let go and often overly dwell on how others will do with my Son, who has Autism. Besides family members and the aboveforementioned advice, I think it is important to consider the capabilities of the sitter. It is VERY important that our children who have Autism have someone who understands the quirks of their disorder. For instance, my Son also has sensory issues and at times, appears as though he is going crazy! This could scare some people who do not understand how to deal with such behavior. In addition, I would reccomend having the sitter come 30 minutes earlier so you can review any particulars, discuss routine and have your child get comfortable. I always have a “cheat sheet” with bullet points outlining everything from my Sons schedule, foods, behaviors and how to deal with them.
I agree that it is important to get out. I am also a stay at home mom with a 13 year old who has high level autism. Check out your community helps. Our son goes to a center once a week for ‘group’ where they learn coping skills, they take them to dinner and then do an activity such as minin golf and stuff. That night of the week is our ‘date’ night. At that point we can have our 11 year old watch the three younger children and we get our ‘out’. There is help out there, you just need to do some checking. It is time consuming but worth it. It is hard to let go but these kids need to be on there own without mom hovering over them. They need to know that they can be independant to a certain level. It is good for them to be aware of the outside world that exists away from mom. I have have had tears shed and I still go through heartache over my special child. God watches over these special children and he keeps them safe.
A young adult who works in the “kids club” at the gym where I teach fitness classes has always had a special bond with my kids, especially my 5-year-old with high-functioning autism. When I asked her recently if she would consider babysitting outside of the gym, she said yes immediately and has even asked for additional opportunities to watch our boys! I also “trade off” childcare with another mom whose older child has HFA. Our family lives 300+ miles away so we have had to explore possibilities outside of Grandma and aunties, and have been blessed to find some great fits for our kids.
I founded Beyond Sitters a service in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex to help find sitters for families with Autism and other special needs. I know their are several around the country, checking with your local ARC and college special eduction departments are usually your best bet.
IAM LOOKING TO RELIFE PARENTS WITH CHILDREN WHO HAVE AUTISIM,IAM QUALIFIED WITH A LOT OF EXPERIENCE.PLS CALL ME ON 07949555996.
I am a mother of a kid 6years with autism from kenya(Africa) and i am very much willing to relief parents with special needs children.I have a lot of experience.Please contact me on 4104991052.
I am the mother of a 6 year old autistic son and find it extremely difficult to leave him with people other than my husband. My biggest fear is that he will get hit for “misbehaving”. Happy to know i’m not the only mother who feels this way.
i pity the fool that ever disciplins my autistic child with corporal punishment, my money is on the kid lol
I personally have been babysitting for various families of children with autism as well as other disabilities that i met mostly through my church sunday school class that i teach as well as my church’s respite care events(we have one day every few months that gives parents a few free hours and the children some one on one time). They really are great events!
“Dad” should not be “willing and able to babysit a child with autism”.
A true father is part of the care already given. A true father needs a break, too, because he is giving so much already.
Hello all.
I am a 26 year old friendly felmale based in Cardiff with a current CRB. I have lots of experience working with autistic children in special schools and as a music therapist. I am very willing to provide restbite in the form of babysitting or maybe taking the child out for the day at the weekend. If anyone is interested in this please feel free to get in touch.
Sally
Hello,
I recently finished a full time babysitting stint for two wonderful boys. The older one had a nonverbal learning disability and adhd. Though I had watched the boys for nights here and there a few years earlier before I started full time, I didn’t really know what I was in for until I was a few weeks in. I wasn’t told about the unique condition of the boy and the behavior I might experience as a regular sitter. I completely agree that it’s very important that sitters like myself are aware of what we’re in for! Knowing some autism-spectrum quirks before I came in would have better prepared me for the more challenging moments for sure, but under no circumstance even on the difficult days would I EVER have considered physical punishment. Everything I’ve read says it just makes it worse since many kids on the autism spectrum learn by example and physical touch, and real sitters have to be role models. Parents can definitely weed out potentially toxic people by prepping caregivers and asking the right questions, especially when it comes to groups or schools.
I am a student with a brother that has autism. He is now 5, and im 21. there’s a big gap of age between us. But I have noticed that for him it doesnt matter the age barrier. He wants a brother and most importantly a FRIEND. So I have decided to start babysitting and facilitating other parents and their kids. I play with them just as a friend and can babysit whenever needed. I know this blog is to ask for help for other peope. But I am one of those people that want to offer more, and at the same time give to others what I think is needed. since for a autistic kid(dependent on the kid) is harder to make friends BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE, you just need faith a PATIANCE!.so if anybody is interested, I am in the orange county area in California. You can contact me by email.sebastian_ruano@hotmail.com
take care! and always have fun!
I am a parent of a 9 year old autistic child living in Nairobi Kenya. I would like to join a support group with parents of autistic children so that we can encourage each other. I would also like to find a church that would accomodate my son who can not sit in a church service for long and has therefore not been to church for a long time.
I am a mother to a 9 year old autistic son living in Nairobi Kenya. I would like to join a support group with parents of autistic children so that we can share and encourage each other. I am also looking for a church that would accomodate him as he can not sit for long even in church and thus has not attended church in a very long time.
Jennifer i feel you. I have a six year old also and he cant sit through the church service and it gets frustrating for him and me as i have to leave him as the rest of the family goes to church i wish there was somewhere he could be accommodated for this duration
Faith / Jenniffer,
I am interested to find out what facilities are available for children / adults with autism in Kenya.
Would you be able to share your views with me?
Thanks
I am a behavior therapist and I have been working with children ages 3 to 10 on the autism spectrum. usually after working with one child for a long while, parents ask if I am willing to babysit on the side, and I usually say yes, I am highly qualified, experienced with dtt,vd,aba principles, and very patient. Parents usually ask me to teach their children something that isn’t apart of services or school related (piano, bike riding, bus riding, shopping, socializing, community outings) I really enjoy it. my email is Macias143@gmail.com if anyone is intersted in a babysitter with experience. San gabriel valley prefered.
hope everyone has a wonderful new years!
*I AM LOOKING FOR WORK IN MANHATTAN, NEW YORK AND AM AVAILABLE TO BABYSIT ANYWHERE IN MANHATTAN IMMEDIATELY*
Hi, I’m a 30 yr old psychologist with much experience working with, and caring for children and young adults on the Autistic Spectrum. I’m currently staying in Manhattan, New York for a few months to be with to my girlfriend, who lives and works in the city. I really enjoy looking after individuals with Autism.
My recent resume and references are available on request, including a very recent Criminal Records Bureau check, attained through work in the UK. I Look forward to hearing from any parent/carer in the Manhattan, NY area soon.
email: kingsman7@googlemail.com