Autism Terms You May Be Misunderstanding

Be sure you know what therapists really mean

If you think it's tough to make sense of your loved one's autism, you're right. Autism is a complex disorder, but that's only part of the problem. Well-meaning professionals sometimes make statements about autistic people that can (and do!) mislead family members about their loved one's level of challenges and abilities.

This article can help you to make sense of some of the more commonly misunderstood terms. It offers insights to help you better connect with teachers, therapists, and other professionals involved in your autistic loved one's care.

Young boy sitting on bed, lining up pieces of paper
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Commonly Misunderstood Terms About Autism

Why would a professional intentionally confuse a parent, guardian, or caregiver? In most cases, they're not actively trying to be confusing. They're simply framing their diagnoses, descriptions, and recommendations in terms that they think will be more kind or, perhaps, more politically correct.

The outcome is that many people can wind up misunderstanding their autistic loved one's situation. Here's what some of these terms really mean.

Developmental Delay Is Usually Synonymous with Developmental Disability

You've probably heard the term "delay" many times when discussing a family member's autism. Usually, it's included in a statement such as "your child has a developmental delay." 

We all know what a "delay" is. We've all had delays in our lives. Checks, trains, airplanes, and dinner are often delayed. And then, if we wait and take appropriate action, they arrive. And we think "better late than never."

But the term "delay," when used to describe an autistic person, doesn't necessarily imply an ability that is late in developing. More often, it refers to an ability that will never develop, or may not develop fully.

Autistic children develop skills as they mature but autism is a lifelong disorder. It involves a range of differences and challenges that don't go away. If the child in your care does develop skills and abilities it's not because they have naturally "caught up," but because hard work and therapies have had a positive impact.

Some people believe that autistic kids will become "indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers." Parents or caregivers may think a child needs nothing but time in order to catch up. This is not the case: Early and intensive therapy is critical for an autistic child. Even with such services, autistic children will almost certainly continue to be autistic for a lifetime.

One Word Can Mean A Lot of Things

It feels great to hear that an autistic child is "exceptional." Until you understand what's really meant by the term.

The term "exceptional" often means "better than average" or "terrific." But when it's used to describe autistic children, it means something completely different. Being exceptional, in the case of disabled children, may mean something closer to "unlike other children because of their challenges and disabilities."

Some autistic children have unique talents, and it's very easy when told your child is "exceptional" to walk around in a warm glow of pride. It is important to ensure there is clarity about what caregivers, parents, guardians, therapists, and teachers mean by "exceptional." This will help to avoid misunderstandings and problems with your loved one's services and outcomes.

Cognitive Challenge Means the Same Thing as "Low IQ"

Instead of referring to your autistic child as having "low intelligence," professionals will often describe a child as being "cognitively delayed" or "intellectually disabled."

What do these terms mean? Any parent or guardian could be forgiven for thinking they mean "delayed, but likely to catch up soon." Some folks think they refer to challenging behavior (also known as misbehavior).

But no, they mean "performs poorly on an IQ test." Of course, not all IQ tests are appropriate for autistic children. Autistic kids often turn out to have far better reasoning abilities than a typical IQ test might suggest.

Autistic Passions Are Narrowly Focused Interests

Most of the time, passionate people are either terrific lovers or truly dedicated individuals. You can be a passionate kisser, a passionate artist, or even a passionate sailor.

Some autistic people are passionate in the usual way, but that's not what's meant by the term when used by autism professionals. Rather, the term passionate is a euphemism for when an autistic person does the same thing over and over again.

A child with an "autistic passion" might feel the need to watch the same video endlessly or talk about trains to the exclusion of all other topics of conversation.

TV Talk Is a Disordered Form of Speech

When told that their child is engaging in "video talk" or "TV talk," parents or guardians may be delighted. Finally, the child in their care is using words and even carrying on conversations about a subject that interests others! But no. "TV talk" or "video talk" doesn't mean talking about a TV show; instead, it means talking like a TV show. Another more technical term for this is echolalia.

What is echolalia? Many autistic children (and some teens and adults as well) can talk, but instead of using their own words, they literally recite lines from favorite TV shows, movies, or videos. This can be a form of self-calming behavior (the words have no function and don't mean anything, but it feels good to keep repeating the same sounds). It also can be a step in developing language skills.

Echolalia can be a first step toward using functional language, especially when a child repeats phrases from TV or uses a character's words as an expression to say what they have on their own mind.

Scripting Means Repeating the Same Words Over and Over Again

It would be reasonable to think that "scripting," for an autistic child, might involve providing the child with a script to use in a particular social situation. Or perhaps, for a child with low support needs, writing their own script to use in an anxiety-provoking situation. But no.

As with video or TV talk, scripting is just another term for the same type of memorized sequence of words that may or may not be used for communication. It's called "scripting" because the child has literally memorized a script and is reciting it.

Rituals Are Repetitive Behaviors With No Functional Purpose

It's unusual to hear the word "ritual" at all—and when you do hear it, it's almost always in the context of religious ceremonies. Churches, synagogues, and mosques all have rituals (actions and words repeated in the same manner and in the same order every week) related to prayer, readings, music, and so forth.

So what is meant by an autistic person's "rituals?" When used in the context of autism, "rituals" are repetitive behaviors that have no particular function but which an autistic person feels they must complete.

Such rituals can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder but are also a fairly common trait among autistic people. Autistic rituals may involve lining items up in a certain order, turning lights on and off, or flushing the toilet multiple times.

Self-Stimulating Behavior Rarely Refers to Masturbation

What could "self-stimulation" possibly mean? It sure sounds like a euphemism for "genital stimulation." And on rare occasions, an autistic child's behavior may include that, but most of the time it doesn't.

Self-stimulating behavior—often referred to as "stimming"—is actually a term used to describe behaviors such as rocking, finger flicking, humming, or pacing. These behaviors are not functional (they are not intended to have an outcome), but they do serve a purpose.

Stimming can help an autistic person to stay calm when "assaulted" by sounds, smells, or bright lights. Stimming can also be a good way to calm anxieties.

Often, therapists work toward "extinguishing self-stimulating behaviors." By doing this, however, they may be depriving the autistic person of the tools they need to stay calm. In other words, a child may wind up trading unique behaviors for even more unique emotional breakdowns.

Stereotyped Behaviors Have Nothing to Do With Stereotypes

Usually, stereotypes are incorrect beliefs people have about other people, based on race, religion, gender, sexuality, abilities, or place of origin. So you might assume that a stereotype related to autism might be an incorrect assumption about an autistic person on the basis of a diagnosis.

Yet terms used in the context of autism rarely mean what one expects it to mean. Stereotyped behaviors are the stims referred to in the last section of this article. They are also referred to, particularly in diagnostic literature, as "stereotypy," or "stereotyped behaviors." The DSM5 (2013) list of official autism traits includes:

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements use of objects, or speech (e.g. simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

In other words, if an autistic person is lining up toys or using TV talk, they are engaged in stereotyped behavior.

Making Sense of Language

There are plenty of websites and books that list and describe terms related to autism. And when you see a technical term you're not familiar with (such as echolalia, for example) you might actually go look it up. The problem, however, is that so many of the terms used to describe autism sound familiar. How do you know what you don't know when you don't know that you don't know it?

The best way to be sure you're completely following the conversation is to ask questions whenever possible and to double-check your understanding. For example, you might ask a teacher, "I hear you say that my child is engaging in TV talk. Does that mean they're talking about TV shows?" Or you might check in with a therapist to be sure that their terminology really makes sense to you.

Summary

The language used by professionals to talk about autism can be confusing to some people caring for autistic loved ones. Words like "self-stimulation" or "stereotyped" can mean something different than what you're used to, when the language is used to talk specifically about autism.

By asking questions or researching the topics, you can learn to decode the language of autism. Don't hesitate to ask your autistic loved one's healthcare providers, teachers, and other professionals exactly what they mean, for example, when you encounter them using a word like "TV talk." You'll know they're referring to a certain style of speech rather than your autistic child talking about TV shows.

6 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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By Lisa Jo Rudy
Lisa Jo Rudy, MDiv, is a writer, advocate, author, and consultant specializing in the field of autism.