What Made Me Suspect I Have Asperger Syndrome
I was enlightened by a high school teacher who pointed out a number of autistic-like characteristics in my behavior and thought patterns. The thing is, this didn't happen in the last 15 years since AS has been official, but over 30 years ago in the late '70's.
How I Diagnosed Myself
I guess I've "diagnosed" myself, although I'm not qualified to really do that since my degree is in computer programming. My high school teacher, though, was and is a remarkable person who seemed to be well informed about AS long before it existed as a classification here in the U.S. His PhD was in biophysics and he had studied at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. He was especially interested in higher brain functions, including consciousness itself, before such things were considered kosher for respectable scientists. I come from a small town in the Midwest and often feel that it was like winning the lottery to have him as an instructor at such a crucial time in my life.
Essentially, I'm on the mild end of the spectrum but he noticed I was not speaking much in class and tended to obsess on certain topics whenever I did speak much. He taught a course on the human brain and during class he took the time to make me aware of other aspects of mine like lip reading, gaze avoidance, need for sameness, and sensory sensitivities. I especially remember an instance when he discussed the idea of Theory of Mind and he informed me that I had trouble detecting the intentions of others, which became known later as mindblindness.
Over the years a lot of that time slipped from my mind, until in 2004 when I read the "Geek Syndrome" article on Wired. So much of it sounded so familiar, and pretty quickly the memories started floating back to my awareness. AS became my new favorite topic, and a lot of what I had learned from my former teacher now clicked into place. After all the soul searching and frustration of 3 decades I now have some peace of mind and feel that I have come full circle in some important ways.
Advice
- Occasionally he would mention his colleagues who were involved in some of the research associated with autism, and even hinted that some of what he was learning about me would help other people who were similar. I have never learned whether that happened or not, but I'd like to think that at least some of the information became useful to others. So I guess my advice would be to realize that everything you do, think, and feel matters and has some impact on your relations with people. We are defined by those relationships.
