Depression in Parents of Autistic Children

A study conducted at the University of California San Francisco found that about 50% of mothers of autistic children had elevated symptoms of depression over an 18-month period, compared to just 6% of mothers of neurotypical children. The authors attributed the difference to the chronic stress that can accompany parenting a child with special needs.

Portrait of a mother with daughter Autism and Down Syndrome in daily lives
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Why Are Parents of Autistic Kids More Prone to Depression?

Parents may also struggle with the feeling that they can't do enough to help their autistic children. Certainly, that feeling of never being good enough could increase the risk of experiencing depression. In these cases, individual counseling could be tremendously helpful.

But while feelings of guilt and inadequacy certainly are at play for many parents or guardians, there's much more to the story. Families, even those with autistic children who have low support needs, cope with many other significant issues that could lead, at the very least, to frustration, anger, irritability, anxiety, and more.

Examples of stressors and situations that could lead to increased risk include:

  • Parents or guardians receiving a child's autism diagnosis also are coping with the loss of many of their expectations of parenthood. At the same time, they are losing out on the "parent club" that may have helped to sustain them—everything from exchanging playdates and childcare with neighbors to coaching the local ball team.
  • It can be tough to engage in social activities with an autistic child.
  • It can be expensive to treat an autistic child. Some families go into debt to support therapies that are not paid for by insurance.
  • A parent or guardian with an autistic child may wind up quitting jobs they enjoy (and the income they need or want) in order to care for a child.
  • Many autistic children have a tough time sleeping and keep their parents or guardians awake all night.
  • Parents or guardians who have to battle the school districts and state mental health agencies for any type of appropriate services are almost certain to run into issues and circumstances which are unacceptable, but over which they have little control.
  • As autistic children grow older, parents or guardians often face retirement with full personal and financial responsibility for an adult child who depends on them for everything.

If experiencing symptoms of depression, see a primary care provider or a mental health provider. Be sure to also try asking a trusted friend or relative to monitor you for these signs and encourage seeking support if they occur.

Coping With the Emotional Strain of Autism

What is a parent or guardian to do in the face of so many negatives? There are a number of options for action. While none will change the underlying truth that autism is here to stay, many can help parents or guardians cope better with the emotional strain. You can:

  • Find support among like-minded parents or guardians of autistic children.
  • Seek respite care, so that you (and a partner if you have one) can get away together for a well-deserved break.
  • Seek professional help from a therapist with experience working with families with an autistic loved one.
  • Try journaling to relieve stress.
  • Lower therapy costs by choosing low-cost, low-risk treatments for an autistic child.

Perhaps most important of all, know that you are doing the very best you can for your autistic child. Instead of tormenting yourselves with "what if's," take a moment to enjoy your child.

2 Sources
Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Roubinov D, Don B, Blades R, Epel E. Is it me or my child? The association between maternal depression and children's behavior problems in mothers and their children with or without autismFam Process. 2023;62(2):737-753. doi:10.1111/famp.12810

  2. Duarte CS, Bordin IA, Yazigi L, Mooney J. Factors associated with stress in mothers of children with autism. Autism. 2005;9(4):416-27. doi:10.1177/1362361305056081

Additional Reading

By Lisa Jo Rudy
Lisa Jo Rudy, MDiv, is a writer, advocate, author, and consultant specializing in the field of autism.