Parents coping with autism need family support. But one reader writes: "We are having an incredibly hard time with my sister, who won’t believe that my daughter is autistic. I’ve shown her information about autism, but she still insists that all my daughter needs is more structure and discipline at home. Any ideas for getting through to her?"
It seems we always want the ones we love the most to understand us; our feelings, our life choices, our children. Sometimes this is way more difficult than we would wish. Keep in mind that you are the expert on your child and you know the best ways to deal with her. The truth is, if you are doing the best you can and it certainly sounds as though you are, you really don't have to prove anything to your sister or to anybody else.
In time your sister will develop her own relationship with your daughter and will hopefully follow your lead on some of the important learning and relationship issues. If you find that your sister is negative around your daughter or acts in ways that negate her growth or self-esteem, then you may want to limit their interaction while you gently model more helpful ways to deal with your daughter and continue to share new or interesting articles on autism or information regarding your daughter. This heartfelt process often takes longer than we think it should; steady persistence is key.
Robert Naseef, Ph.D., and Cindy Ariel, Ph.D., are the co-editors of "Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People With Autism, and Professionals Share Their Wisdom" (2006). On the web at www.alternativechoices.com.
