How Autistic Meltdowns Differ From Ordinary Temper Tantrums

An autistic meltdown is often mistaken for a temper tantrum, but they are not the same. While the signs are similar, the underlying causes are very different.

Tantrums are emotional outbursts in response to unmet needs or desires. Meltdowns, on the other hand, are cries of distress due to sensory or emotional overwhelm.

To outsiders, an autistic meltdown can look like an oversized tantrum. They are often preceded by signs of distress or anxiety and commonly involve stimming behaviors, like repetitive rocking. Some autistic children elope (run away) or hide in a small, enclosed space during a meltdown.

This article discusses autistic meltdowns. It explains the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown and how to help someone who is having a meltdown.

What Is a Meltdown?

An autistic meltdown is an involuntary response to nervous system overload. This highly dysregulated state is not behavioral, but a physical manifestation of a neurobiological reaction.

In young children, an autistic meltdown looks much like a temper tantrum but can be more intense. After all, the word "meltdown" comes from the catastrophic exposure of radioactive material in a nuclear power plant.

Autistic meltdowns are not limited to young children. Older children, teens, and autistic adults can also experience meltdowns—even those who have low support needs (considered high functioning).

Early Warning Signs of a Meltdown

Prior to a meltdown, an autistic person will often start to show signs of distress. These can be subtle, like biting their nails or asking to leave, or more obvious, like covering their ears with their hands.

It's important to be aware that behaviors are a response to stress and/or sensory overload and not a form of manipulation. 

Stimming

Stims (self-stimulatory behaviors) are self-calming techniques autistic people use to help regulate anxiety or sensory input. Stims include rocking, pacing, humming, or finger flicking. Stimming is also common in the build-up to a meltdown and can become more intense as the distress increases.

Intense stimming such as high-energy rocking, slamming the hand into the forehead, or other obvious signs of agitation, can indicate a meltdown is imminent. 

Eloping

Another behavioral response known as eloping or bolting—running away—is also common among autistic children. An autistic person, faced with overwhelming sensory input, anxiety, or stress, may simply run from the room to escape the stimulus. 

While this is a great coping mechanism, bolting can become dangerous when the child or adult is unaware of issues such as oncoming traffic.

Signs of an Autistic Meltdown

A meltdown occurs when the brain goes into fight, flight, or freeze mode from overwhelming emotions. This involuntary reaction cannot be controlled by the individual.

Autistic meltdowns vary in intensity and may include:

• Biting
• Crying
• Destroying property
• Foot-stomping
• Hitting
• Kicking
• Running off (eloping)
• Self-injury, such as banging their head, hitting themself, or pulling their own hair
• Stimming
• Throwing and breaking objects
• Vocal outbursts, including yelling, name-calling, sobbing, or intense screaming
• Zoning out

Autistic meltdowns often last at least 20 minutes beyond the removal of the initial trigger.

After a meltdown, it can take a while for an autistic person to recover. Allow them time and space to regain emotional regulation.

In the aftermath of a meltdown, autistic people are often unable to recall the details of what happened. Avoid trying to discuss in the hours after the meltdown.

How to Prevent an Autistic Meltdown 

Meltdowns can often be prevented by identifying triggers and recognizing the warning signs. Once it rises to the level of meltdown, though, it is difficult for an autistic person to calm down.

Recognize Triggers

Sensory overload is a common meltdown trigger. This can include lights, sounds, smells, and different textures (like seams in socks). Emotional overwhelm and stress can also trigger meltdowns.

If you know your child's triggers, you can find ways to avoid them or make them more manageable. For instance:

• Essential oils or air freshener to mask triggering smells
• Noise-canceling headphones to make loud spaces more tolerable
• Soft fabrics that fit comfortably
• Sunglasses to block bright lights

Heed the Warnings

Keep an eye out for the subtle signs of overwhelm and take action to eliminate the cause or move the child to a calmer space.

Signs of building distress include anxiety, irritability, and stimming behaviors. Older children may be able to verbalize they are getting overwhelmed. When you see these signs, take action.

For example, a child who is overwhelmed by the noise and light at a mall may calm down quickly when taken outside. 

A child who is anxious about a social situation may need clear direction, reassurance, and support.

If an intervention doesn't occur or doesn't solve the problem, a meltdown is almost inevitable as the person becomes overwhelmed by their emotions.

How to Manage an Autistic Meltown

When a full meltdown is in progress, it can be hard to manage. The best way to help someone during an autistic meltdown is to remain calm. Co-regulation helps by providing a safe, calming presence.

Each autistic person is unique, and there is no one technique that helps everyone. Calming tools you can try with your child include:

• Calming music
• A cold drink
• Compression
• A cozy blanket
• Deep breathing
• Dimmin the lights
• Distraction
• Empathy and kindness
• A favorite stuffed animal
• Fresh air
• Pressure
• Punching pillows
• Rubbing their back
• Silence
• Skin brushing
• Textures
• Tight hugs
• Weighted blanket (for older children)

Safety, both for the autistic person and others in the area, is important. Bolting, hitting, self-abuse, and screaming can be particularly frightening—and even dangerous.

It may be necessary to move the individual to a quiet room until the meltdown is over. Sometimes, this may require more than one person to avoid injury.

Summary

It can be difficult to tell the difference between an autistic meltdown and a temper tantrum. Both tantrums and meltdowns can include crying, sobbing, and yelling, but meltdowns are often more extreme and can involve self-injury, destruction of property, and eloping.

Temper tantrums are common in children ages 1 to 4. They are a manipulation tactic in response to not getting something they want or need. A tantrum typically resolves once the child gets their wish.

Autistic meltdowns are an involuntary response to sensory or emotional overload and overwhelm. They can happen at any age and take at least 20 minutes before the child is able to calm down.

Meltdowns can be prevented by recognizing triggers and warning signs and taking action to keep the person calm. During a meltdown, you can help your child regain emotion regulation by providing a calm and empathetic presence and trying different calming tools until you find the ones that work.