Answers to Parents' Real Questions About Autism
In addition to answering the usual "what is autism?" questions, The Autism Answer Book responds to some very tough (and very idiosyncratic) concerns. Because the questions are actually listed in the beginning of each chapter, it's easy for parents to find those that interest them -- and skip the rest.It's great to see rarely-addressed questions presented straightforwardly and answered succinctly. Parents really do wonder, "Why does my child keep asking me the same things over and over again?" Stillman explains that the problem is related less to understanding than to anxiety, and offers simple ideas for managing the feelings behind the actions. Just as importantly, the book answers questions about sexuality and autism ranging from general concerns about education to worries about conception, childbearing, and homosexuality.
Some of the questions, though, are downright odd and perhaps relate only to a few of the real parents who contributed to the book. It's hard to believe that a great many parents will wonder, "How do I explain to my child's teacher that my child bit her because she was expecting to receive her report card on a specific day (the day of the incident) and never did?"
Stillman does generalize from this question, and I'm sure the question was a real one (who would make that up?). But it and others like it give the book a somewhat choppy feeling.
A Unique Insider's Philosophy
Unlike most general "all about autism" books, Stillman has a specific philosophical perspective -- and he's not afraid to say so. At the center of his philosophy is the idea "presume intellect."By this, Stillman means that parents and caregivers of people with autism should not assume that lack of communication skills is the same thing as lack of intellect or understanding. Most people with autism, he feels, are more than capable of listening to and understanding what is said to about them, and they deserve the respect of their parents, caregivers and peers.
Another major point of The Autism Answer Book is that parents and caregivers should respect and support autistic people's passions. Most people with autism do have obvious and apparent passions, ranging from the stereotyped fascination with trains and numbers to interests in music, art, sports and more. Unfortunately, many of those passions look, to the outside eye, like obsessions. Stillman works hard to separate passions from obsessions, but it may be tough for many typical parents and caregivers to figure out the distinction.
Internal Contradictions Underscore the Complexity of Autism
Is autism a difference or a disorder? Should it be cured, managed, or simply respected? These questions, which split the autism community, also arise in The Autism Answer Book and remain unanswered.Stillman devotes an entire chapter of his book to autism treatments, most of which are designed to "normalize" the behavior of people on the autism spectrum. Yet, at the same time, he describes autism as a "natural" state and suggests that it is not appropriate to medicate someone because they are experiencing a natural condition.
In other chapters, he describes autistic people as "naturally and inherently gentle and exquisitely sensitive." He later advises parents to consider a number of treatments for aggressive and explosive behavior, including medication.
The upside of this complexity is that many different aspects of autism are addressed. The downside is that it may leave readers baffled. An "answer book," in theory, should provide simple, clear and actionable answers. This book, perhaps because of its subject matter, leaves the reader better informed but still somewhat confused about the best course of action.
Recommended for Insight Into Autism
I recommend The Autism Answer Book as a tool for better understanding what it means to be autistic. Stillman's personal knowledge of autistic sensitivities and difficulties provide a unique window into what's really going on inside the autistic mind. When a parent wonders why his or her child with autism feels or thinks in certain ways, or how to handle specific behaviors, The Autism Answer Book is a great solution.Stillman, however, is not the parent of a child on the autism spectrum. That reality comes through in certain chapters that deal with education. It sounds wonderful, for example, to impress the importance of your child's passions upon school personnel. But the reality is that few schools have the capacity or mandate to do much about them.
In short, read the Autism Answer Book to better understand your child with autism. Consider Stillman's philosophies as a positive and joyful way to value your child. And then turn to other parents and professionals for the day-to-day advice you'll need as you navigate the tricky waters of agencies, school systems and medical concerns.
