Ask Social Skills Questions of Expert Carol Gray
Thursday June 8, 2006
Carol Gray is a teacher and consultant who, in the early 1990's, developed a social skills teaching approach called "social stories." These stories, now used in schools and therapeutic centers around the world, are stories written in a particular style with the intention of preparing individuals with various challenges to prepare to engage in particular activities. Here is how Ms. Gray's website describes Social Stories(tm):
A Social Story™ describes a situation, skill, or concept in terms of relevant social cues, perspectives, and common responses in a specifically defined style and format. The goal of a Social Story™ is to share accurate social information in a patient and reassuring manner that is easily understood by its audience. Half of all Social Stories™ developed should affirm something that an individual does well. Although the goal of a Story™ should never be to change the individual’s behavior, that individual’s improved understanding of events and expectations may lead to more effective responses.
Based on readers' expressed interest in social skills for people with autism, I have arranged for Carol Gray to answer your questions about Social Stories (tm) or about social skills development in general. You are invited to submit questions for Ms. Gray (just click on comments below), and I will include as many as possible in my interview!
Comments
Hi Carol,
My son, who is 8, has Asperger’s. He seems to understand social situations when we talk about them, but has trouble applying what he knows “in the moment”. Any thoughts on how we can help him apply what he understands?
Thanks You.
Josh Chernin
Massachusetts
My son is also 8 with Aspergers with the same problem as the first poster. I would also like to know how to make him realize he is hurting other people’s feelings by calling them names and saying mean things to them.
Thanks for your time
Hi, my HFA son is 7 yrs old. He has trouble with emotions. He can identify them in himself and others, but is so resistant to let anyone see him sad/mad etc. He really has trouble understanding his own feelings and choosing the right strategy to deal with it. Any suggestions?
Lou
Canada
My 8yr old HFA son also has ADD and on particularly stressful days can turn dangerously impulsive (i.e. looked for a stick to hit a boy who had embarassed him). Have always used social stories (weaving consequences into the plot at times) but not sure this is enough to discourage such behavior. He is aware of other people’s feelings but is more sensitive to his own. Thanks for your time.
My 12 year old with AS just completed sixth grade (his first year in middle school). Due to much preparation and accomodating (much of which I learned from attending several Carol Gray workshops), his year was the most successful school year to date.
However, he spends his lunches at a table by himself far away from the other students with his back to them. He says this is due to the fact that on some days he doesn’t like the smells of the foods the others are eating. I know this is true for some meals because smells do drive him nuts, but I wonder if there isn’t a form of non-aggressive bullying happening here too. In the first semester, he told me several times that he didn’t understand why no one would sit with him. What happened was that he would sit with a bunch of boys. When sixth graders would get called to get in line, everyone would get up (except him because he brought his lunch). When they returned, they would sit at another table leaving him alone. I asked him what he did when they did that and he said that he got up and went to sit with them at their new table. We would like to work on having him socialize some at lunch but aren’t sure how to go about it. Any ideas? (I am a teacher in his middle school and will be able to see that anything we try is carried through. It’s a small Catholic school in extreme western Kentucky with only about 50 kids in each class.)
My son is 7 and has PDD-NOS. He is considered high functioning. What do you believe is the best placement for a school setting? He is mainstreamed for some academics, but has difficulty keeping up. Full inclusion or autistic support? What is the latest research? Mainstreaming with support?
I too am interested in the generalisation aspect of any social skills learnt. I work with autistic individuals and we use social stories to help them with social rules. We have developed cue cards which show a visual summary of the story to remind themselves but wondered if you knew of any other techniques to help with generalising social skills. Thanks!
Hi, I wondered if you knew of any methods that could be used with ASD adults who can find Social stories patronising? And Thank you for your ’social stories’ as the do work with the majority, regards, Lou.
Hi Ms. Gray. What is the best way to start a social story? I would like to do some for my job. I am a behavior specialist and I work w/ primarily Autism. Thank you again.
Hello Ms. Gray,
I have a 5 year old son who has trouble regulating his own behavior. He becomes very high energy and has a difficult time calming himself down. He knows when he is doing something wrong, but in the moment cannot stop and do the right thing. How do we teach him to make the right decisions and regulate his own behavior?
Thanks for your time,
Heather
Carol,
My son is a 12 years old and he is the only child and his friend is also 12 both are high functioning autistic children and both attend the same school. The problem is that after the two boys have engaged in play activities outside of school now the other child does not want to be friends with my son. My son is very upset about this situation and although we have explained he is very aggressive when ever he sees the other boy - its become an obession. How can I develop a behavior intervention plan for him to help him know that not all of us can be friends.
Worried, mom
I am working with a 15 year-old Autistic boy in a high school. He is refusing to do work (classwork) and yesterday, he put his head down on his desk, pretending to sleep. The teacher calmly approached him and said, “Eric, you need to complete this one work sheet,and put your head up! She said he had to stand on the green square, that he had lost his desk privileges, and proceeded to pull his desk from him. He held onto the desk, and shoved her away from his desk and they both fell to the floor! He is suspended, and the teacher is devastated. Please send suggestions
There are hundreds of books about AS. I have limited resources, can you recommend a couple to help me introduce my 9 yr son to his AS?