Comments

May 12, 2006 at 11:46 am

(1) dusterbug says:

My daughter is 18 and for the past 6 years she has acted normal in public. She tells people “normal” things. She writes papers about all the socializing she does and parties she goes to. She does none of these things. She has “acting normal” down to a fine art. noone would ever know anything unless they spent alot of time with her, which she will not allow.

May 12, 2006 at 1:08 pm

(2) Jane Burr says:

My son spent 9 years in and out of a
jr. college as a student, acting normal. He is 37 and when he was going
through this there was not even a diagnosis. Now as many as 5 psychiatrists are in agreement that what he has is autism (high functioning). At one time his depression got so severe that he had a
psychotic episode. Now he is very stable. For a while he did not accept
that he had a disability. Now he does
and I think that is what makes the difference about him being stable. His no longer blames himself for his
failures. Your daughter may be putting expectations on herself that could cause trouble later. He is
relatively happy, but fairly lonesome most of the time. I’m his mother and I
say that he is easy to be around, not
demanding and is appreciative. We are working on the friend problem. For a
while the two of us had a paper route.
I had thought he would make friends with the other guys there rolling papers in the warehouse. There was minimal interaction. It was a very good job for him because he could memorize the stops on the route, up to
about 200, just as well as any of the
others. Also, he did not make mistakes
and caught mine before I did. We could
still be doing that, but I had a teaching job and the 20 extra hours each week wore me out. Maybe being a
girl is easier. I wish you luck and
happiness.

May 12, 2006 at 9:58 pm

(3) Valeri Tanguma says:

I can relate to this article. My son is 11 years old and will be entering Middle School in the fall. We were on his end of the year field trip recently and I encourged him to go play with the other kids during our down time at the park. He turned to me and said “mom, I don’t have any friends”. This tore me apart. Everyone knows my son is different and for the most part he is accepted. He has gone to school with most of these kids since kindergarten. But I wonder how he will do in a Middle School enviornment. He has signed up for band and picked the saxaphone. I hope this gives him a chance to meet some new people. It is hard to not want your aspie to conform, but we just have to encourage.
I just want Julia to know that she is not alone. Many blessings,
Valeri

October 23, 2006 at 11:24 pm

(4) Mary Jane says:

My son is 17 and though we made it through middle school relatively easier than the lonely primary grades, the problems remain as a junior in highschool. He has tried to be a jock and knows the NBA stats better than any commissioner. Alas, he’s might not play this year. He’s never been 1st string, but he would like to play. To his credit, he received “Most Inspirational” the last 2 years by the team vote. He is, however, to the point he doesn’t feel very inspirational. He is in the band, which has been a godsend. He’s been able to shine with the upperclassmen as he gets the melody on the trumpet the first time. So much for practice. It goes without saying that most of the grade is based upon keeping a practice journal!
Band has allowed him to be part of a group. Some band members are funny individuals, so Sean is able to blend in more easily. He too has learned how to “hang”, but I know when he’s had a rough day, i.e. No one took his advice on doing the junior float for Homecoming. His artistic recommenda- tions were cast aside and so, the class came in 4th. Mostof us get used to having suggestions thrown aside, but he was very anoyed since this is omething he KNOWS how to do.
He was in tears last night, saying how he just doesn’t fit in and never has. Now, he was assessed in preschool because “Sean didn’t fit in.” He was diagnosed as autisitc, no mention of Asperger’s Syndrome. The school wanted him in special ed and would “attempt to mainstream him”. I thought no way. He spent 2 yrs in a public school, where in my opinion their endeavors in fact made him different, look different and feel very diiferent. Rather than making a concerted effort to incorporate him, they isolated him. Third -7th grades he was in a parochial school where he fared decently academically, but the damage was done. He had no self confidence and it was heartwrenching to see him try to be part of the group during recess or afterschool. There were 3 other little boys, all with “real” problems and then there was Sean. He was very content once home, with his drawings (pen & ink, just great!) and his legos; he was a starwars afficiando. THe list is long…and lonesome.

I am in the process of getting more information for him with which to understand himself at this age and why things are as they are. I do think he will be able to manage himself well once he’s out of school. It is an ongoing topic, however. How does a parent tell a child that this is what the problem is? Do I have him reassessed?

April 17, 2008 at 12:36 pm

(5) Shirley says:

Comment number 5 looks like a link to porn…