Santa is a very big part of the holidays in our part of the world. From malls to grocery stores (!), you find him ho-hoing and generally pushing merchandise. He's all over the TV, he's on every package in the store... and of course he'll be arriving tomorrow evening with his sack of toys.
Last week, we walked into a toy store where Santa stood outside welcoming kids. He shook hands with my typically developing daughter, and then turned to shake my son's hand. Tom is 13, but still looks like a little kid, and is not obviously disabled. When Tommy turned his head away and tried to slip past, the Santa actually reached out, grabbed his shoulder, and said "Oh no, you've got to say hi to Santa!" Fortunately for everyone involved, Tom just kept his face averted, shook hands, and continued into the store. I followed.
Not every Santa would have been so lucky with a child on the autism spectrum.
Despite all the hype, we still get a kick out of Santa. But I have sometimes wondered whether introducing pretend/real characters like Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy into an autistic child's life is a terrific idea.
On the one hand, they're simply part of the surrounding culture - and no matter what your religious or personal views, it's important to know what they are and how they are supposed to act.
On the other hand, asking a tween with autism to grasp the idea that Santa is "real but not real but keep it a secret from the little ones" seems a bit over the top. In many cases, it's tough enough to get across the idea of mutual gift giving and appropriate thank yous, along with managing radical changes in decor in and outside of homes.
How do you manage Santa with your child with autism? Share your stories!
I am endowed with Asperger’s.
I just want to share a Christmas story. My son with the worst and most obvious Asperger’s was a terror to live with. You had to keep everything locked up, and he did not sleep at night like normal children, so he kinda redefined the term “night terror”. His behavior got so bad just before one Christmas, that we decided that he would get some appropriate gifts like his siblings, but Santa would send him a message by leaving charcoal in his stocking. When we got up Christmas morning, we found the contents of the Christmas stockings redistributed roughly evenly, and a pile of charcoal hidden behind the couch. I guess the message got sent, but it was not received well.
Satan and autism?!?!? Are you out of mind? These kids have enough challenges without going over the dark side.
My daughter has Aspergers Syndrome, we found out the summer before 1st grade. But when she was three she came up to me and looked me right in the eye and asked “Is Santa real?” I took a chance and told her the truth “not anymore”. She screamed I knew it! I then told her he used to be a man and that adults still use him as a symbol for love, joy, peace and goodwill to all people. At three she totally understood. I have never lied to her about anything again, tooth fairy, Easter bunny any of it. She has never let the cat out of the bag either.
Stop coddling these spoiled brats with autsim. The world is not going to change for them. They need to learn to cope. Parents need to get a clue.