What's your autism resolution for 2009?
Now, a year and a half into homeschooling, we're feeling that Tom has progressed academically in some really exciting ways. He's done beautifully, too, in building physical skills (thanks, homeschool gym at the YMCA!). In fact, he's even gotten interested in rock climbing and tennis - who knew? Musically, he's doing just fine, too - playing clarinet at an advanced level!
Now, though, it's time to think about really focusing on building social confidence and social skills. Like most people with autism, our son finds interaction with human beings to be stressful and anxiety provoking - but it's clear to us that anything he chooses to do with his life will require an ability to work WITH other people.
So, for me, my 2009 New Year's resolution is to find the best possible ways to help our son develop the confidence, the skills, and the desire to connect with others outside our family. The trick, of course, is to make this happen within the financial, geographical and time limits with which all of us are coping... and that's no small trick. Any suggestions??
You, too, may have an "autism resolution" for 2009. It may be huge (create an international coalition to change autism policy?) or tiny (help my child cope with haircuts) - or anywhere in between. I, personally, find it helpful to make my resolution public, just to keep me honest! If you do, too - please share!
Comments
I’m a teacher, so this year I’ve really been focusing on data collection. I’m making an organized system for this, which will hopefully make it easier to collect data as I’m teaching. I’ve made many data collection sheets (that are all on my website), and I plan to use them in a more organized way.
Looking forward to what others have to say!
Nicole Caldwell, M.Ed. of http://www.positivelyautism.com/
I am going to do everything I can to make sure the Special Ed system gets a kick in the pants. The insane amount of paperwork parents have to dig themselves out of. Being treated like a criminal by the Board of Ed because we want an appropriate education for our son has got to stop. And these school districts are years behind in terms of teaching methods and equipment. It has got to change or we will have an overcrowded system for adults in years to come.
When my oldest son had problems in school (pre-1994), which I now in retrospect know to be Asperger’s, the shrink we visited suggested getting him involved in activities, and one of them we chose was the Boy Scouts of America. Eventually, first through volunteering, and then by default I even ended up being a scoutmaster.
To be honest it did not take me long to figure out there were several different genre of boys in Scouts. Boys who were there who didn’t want to be there, but their father must have been a scout. Boys who loved the outdoors. Farm boys who used it as a way to get away from chores. Boys who had problems, like my own, across a wide spectrum, and honestly, since I have never been known to worry about being politically correct, I will label them “losers”, and there were plenty of them. Sometimes I saw friendships evolve, often I didn’t, but they all, as diverse as they were, generally learned to get along. and accomplish things. I never saw anyone being bullied; probably because bullies do not join the Scouts. It was an atmosphere not as regimented as a classroom. They had opportunities to learn things not taught at schools.
I recently was asked to teach a merit badge at a Winter Camp, and ten years later, after looking at the microcosm at the camp, I do not think things have changed. One older teenager never took his gloves off even though we were indoors, but nobody stared at him, he just seamlessly moved through the crowds as if he was as normal as everyone else.
Let’s face it, the name autism was coined from the Greek for someone completely wrapped up in self; selfish. Scouting forces them to cooperate to achieve goals. If nobody gathers firewood, nobody cooks. If nobody cooks, nobody eats. If nobody does the dishes, nobody eats the next meal. Nobody goes hiking or swimming or whatever until the chores are done. Sometimes peer pressure can be positive. The good scoutmaster just sits back and watches the leaders herd the young ones around. and it almost always works out well.
Bill makes a good point about scouting, but pay special attention to his last sentence… “The GOOD scoutmaster…” If you go the route of any kind of organized group, take some time to get to know the group leaders and observe them at meetings and outings before committing.
I would suggest sticking with the hobbies that he is developing. He’ll feel more confident and less worried about the social pieces when he’s doing an activity with which he already has some experience and skill. Look for a group of people (all ages is probably better than all his age) who do those activities together. Venture scouting might be a possibility. A local hiking club that would help him develop his climbing skills will allow him to interact relatively naturally with people who already share an interest. An informal music ensemble will probably have an eclectic mix of people. Ask around your local music stores and music teachers for possibilities. If there are none, create one. I can virtually guarantee there’s a need. Where are you? Clarinet happens to be in the same key as the fifes used by most fife & drum corps and he could probably transfer his skills fairly easily to fife. If you have one nearby, I can’t speak positively enough about that option. (If he has auditory sensitivities, prepare him for the loudness of these outdoor instruments and get him used to wearing the squishy little earplugs) It’s a lifelong hobby, and a great community of musical and outdoorsy history buffs. There’s some crossover into the American history reenacting communities, which I’m convinced has more than it’s share of autism spectrum people. It has been by far the most accepting community for my aspie daughter. If you’re in an area that should have a corps but doesn’t, I can direct you to resources for starting one up. Again, watch the leaders first, before choosing a group of any type for your son. And of course have him in on the process, and explain to him what you’re looking for in the leaders. It’s an opportunity for him to perhaps realize that you can study other peoples’ behaviour… just as other people study his. If he can eventually understand that, then he can build that skill and use it as he ages, to develop his own compensations for various situations.
Keeping your son involved with his community will provide him with lots on interaction with a variety of people. For our Aspie kids, more isn’t necessarily better. Manageable, not overwhelming, is the key. Good luck on your homeschooling journey!