"If Everyone Else Jumped Off a Bridge"... and the Child with Autism
As kids get into their tweens and teens, peer modeling becomes a key to social success. Walk into an auditorium presentation in a middle school, and you'll likely see most of the students whispering, passing notes, shooting rubber bands - and doing everything they possible can to appear cool to their friends. Following adult direction, attending to the presentation, or even keeping their hands to themselves are NOT on the agenda.
Kids with autism, though, are rarely focused on peer norms. What's more, because they're autistic, they've likely been through the kind of social skills and command/response training that's literally never offered to typical children. As a result, tweens with autism may be far better behaved, and far less likely to jump off the bridge just because their friends are doing it.
I've never seen a study comparing autistic versus typical kids' behavior relative to dangerous or inappropriate behaviors such as smoking, drug abuse, sexual experimentation at a young age, class cutting, drinking, and so forth. But at a guess, I'd say that kids with autism are at far less risk of such behaviors than the typical kids who are so focused on their peers' approval.
Of course, autism is not something to be sought out as a way to prevent negative behaviors! But it is nice to consider the possibility that autism may actually provide our children with a little extra protection against the herd as they rush headlong toward the Brooklyn Bridge!
Comments
Thank you I needed a bright spot and a little smile. I am just in the process of changing my tween agers forth diaper with a BM in the last 24 hours and this was a week that started off with me losing my job because of the financial crisis. I guess knowing that Tanner will not be drinking and driving is a little solace. I just wish he would get a chance to go to the prom… Oh well…
http://www.causecast.org/member/tanners-dad
Hi Lisa,
I think what some people miss is the huge range of effects covered by the autism spectrum umbrella.
It is a bit like loss of sight.Some people may be a little near sighted, or far sighted.And for soem of these people, there may be usefulness to this: they can see close up text easier for example. Other people are completely blind, will never see a sunset, and use a cane to negotiate their living room. A blind person who is being told all about the advantages of near sightedness is probably not going to have much in common with ( and is likely to feel they live on a different planet from) a person who say needs contact lenses to drive.
Success for one family with autism may be having a child who can hold a job, maybe even marry. For another ,it may mean potty training in their thirties.
It is wonderful that you love and celebrate your child, and that your chidl is doing well.
In a classroom setting, sure, I think the child does quite well and would be following the class routine. I have seen the opposite with my child in non routine settings, which is where jumping off a brisge would apply. My son will mimic his peers poor behaviors in order to fit in, not realize they are poor and inappropriate behaviors and continues them longer than his peers would. Since the peers know it’s inappropriate, they stop when an adult comes near, mine doesn’t. My son has had a lot of social skills classes too, but not all classes can ever cover all social situations and even if they do, transitioning the skills learned in class into real life is something totally different and yet to be seen. Some kids, like mine, are more gullible and vulnerable and because peers take advantage of this, some kids like mine would probably try what ever a peer suggested. And at the same time, although these kids seem to purposely get my child into trouble, my child still thinks these peers are friends and as long as he does, it’ll continue. The only thing that makes me feel better, is my son wouldn’t have done such things had it not been for his peers, and my son responds better to discipline than his peers do.
But the key is thinking ahead to the future consequences of ones actions, and the fear of being caught. Many kids who want to fit in don’t have either ability, which would put them at higher risk with their peers.