"In the closet," I replied, thinking nothing of the question. Then I realized - this was the first time Tom had EVER actually asked me a question! WOW! such an ordinary action, and such a huge breakthrough.
Another day, he actually told his first lie (that he had NOT stuffed three Thomas toys into his cargo pants on the way to school).
Of course, I told him that lying was wrong - but for a child with autism, lying means much more than naughty behavior: it means an understanding of the concept that other people DON'T KNOW what you know. This understanding, called theory of mind, is considered by many to be a "core deficit" of autism. We celebrated Tommy's lie - quietly - with a toast!
Recently, Tom's started asking (in a whiny sort of voice) "Are you listening to me?" Often, because he's retelling a long, boring story about a TV show we've seen six times, the answer is actually "no." But the fact that he asks, and cares, is an enormous developmental step.
Do most families cheer their baby's first lie? First question? First deliberate request for attention? Heck no! It's so normal, it barely registers.
But for families like ours, those small steps add up to huge changes - and real hope for the future. It's also rather wonderful to be reminded that it's the little things that really matter.
Have you had a small but important breakthrough with your child on the autism spectrum? Please share!
We recently celebrated our daughter’s first lie as well. She is seven. I calmly corrected the lie, but then I went to my husband and exclaimed, “She lied!” I was definitely excited.
She hasn’t lied since, so I think she listened to me as well.
Waiting in a long line at Wal-Mart patiently was like winning the Nobel prize in my mind.
I was on cloud 9. So happy, that I took her back the next week and deliberately found the longest line to confirm it wasn’t a fluke. 
very good blog and i could for sure see why you guys were excited. My seven year old likes to exaggerate some times, it used to be cute but its not anymore so now im tryin to break him of it. He has gotten alot better though. I have one son with adhd and another with esophageal atresia and down syndrome and my daughter has siezures, so my hands are full. I wish you all the best.
I confess that sometimes I celebrated when my son cried on situations when it would be unusual for an autistic child to show such emotion. For instance, when he was 3 years old and cried because his cousin Emily did not show up for their gym class; and the other day (5 years old) when he cried while telling me something that happened in school that made him upset (nothing serious, but the fact that he shared something meaningful about his day at school was huge).
Nicolas loves The Wiggles. He just became 4 and his cake topper was “the big red car” with The Wiggles in it. The day after his birthday he carried it on the ride to school and when it was time to get out of the car I couldn’t find the “the big red car” anywhere. Nicolas had put it in his pocket to prevent me from asking him to leave it in the car. I found it in his back pack after he came back from school. That was the first time he used his pockets and the first time he was able to completely hide something from me.