The Joy of Autism: A Mothers Day Gift
The notes below are just a few that happened to leap to my eye today - but every entry is just as wonderful. What better way to share the joy of motherhood than to share these glimpses into the lives of moms with children on the autism spectrum?
What I love about my 4 daughters with autism is what they have taught me:Do you have your own appreciation, photo, story or note to share? Please send it along - or better yet, include it in the comments and I'll add it to the collection!How special the word “mom” is when you have waited 4 years to hear it for the first time from your child when asked “Who am I?”
How flour clinging to a child’s hair is as beautiful as a halo on an angel. We found this out at 6:00 am one morning when our daughters dumped my flour on the carpet and beat it with their hands to make “clouds” rise up from the floor.
How really special the color blue is, when it is the only color cup your child wants to drink from and you can’t find one. Ah, my kingdom for a blue cup.
How to be truly grateful for friends who will stand by you, for a stranger’s smile of understanding, for family members who can celebrate a successful potty break like a gold medal Olympic event.
How to appreciate a simple hug. How it can reduce you to tears, because it was the first time it was ever initiated from your child.
How looking into my eyes and really seeing me is better than any gift from a store.
From Kathleen Johnson, Mother of Aletha (14), Rachael(14), Deanna(13) and Kyleen(12)
I am the mother of a 6 year old autistic boy. What I love about my son is that he begins every new day with a smile on his face…it is like he wipes the slate clean from yesterday and starts today with the determination to find joy in the little things we over look. My son is so honest…he says what most of us are thinking but are too afraid to say it…For example, we are in church for over 2 hours and we all are tired and my son yells out…”No talking, time to go and eat Pizza….Mommy let’s go…Walking feet”. All I could do is laugh because I was thinking the same thing. He is a whiz at reading and computers and he challenges himself constantly. It is funny how when you are young we want you to have many friends but in the end you only keep around a few good ones. I love my son and he is so caring and he always looks out for his little sister. He won’t go any where without her. Oh yeah…he always knows when to give me a hug when I am down and out.
Melika — December 21, 2006
My 14 year old son, Jake, walks past the paintings hanging on the wall in the living room every day like he has never seen them before. He smiles and stares and they are an endless source of fascination for him. He signs “I love you mom” every night as he goes to sleep at 9:00 on the dot. I don’t know if he knows what if means but I love to see it just the same. He wakes up smiling every day & he loves his life.
Lisa — December 22, 2006
My 17yr. old son, Stephen is my love! I will never be without a friend as long as Stephen is around! I could go outside to get the newspaper, come back in, and Stephen will kiss me and act as if he hasn’t seen me in weeks. His love is unconditional. I love you Stephen!!
Mom — December 23, 2006
My daughter Jordan is 4 1/2 and autistic. Jordan’s language is limited, but she speaks poetically (if that’s a word). If she looks up to the sky and sees a moon. She doesn’t just say, “moon”. She says, “blue moon in the sky is very far away”. She believes that all fish are “angel fish”. She asks for juice, by saying, “apple juice in a big kid cup with a straw and ice.” Jordan sees the WHOLE picture of things. What a gift that is. Jordan loves to look at books. She then elegantly makes up her own short sentence stories about the book.
Jordan blows kiss after kiss to my husband and I before she goes to sleep. She also blows me a kiss everytime before she goes to therapy or school. Jordan is my only child and my world. She is unique & beautiful!
Lisa Leicht — December 23, 2006
My son Ian, who will be 5 years old in three days, is truly the light of our lives. The challenges of autism aside, he is a loving and sweet-natured person. I’ve never met another person like him, he wakes up with a smile and pulls me into bed with him for a snuggle, pure bliss! His funny sounds, the garbled talking interspersed with words–we call it Ian-speak. His three older sisters adore him and will play with him in his chase games. He now calls me “Mommas” probably because I have always called him “momma’s sweet boy”, and it is wonderful to hear him call my name now. He loves his daddy and their play time together. Of course, there are good days and bad days, but the purity of his spirit and his love of life always shines through. He isn’t worried about what will happen next, he takes each moment as it comes. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t devastating news to hear he had autism at age two–but the pain has faded and has been replaced by joy, joy that my youngest child has no sorrow, no worries, no strife. He is truly and well loved by our family and friends, as well as his teachers at the special day class he attends. I accept and adore Ian for exactly who he is. I hope and pray that his life is an example to all (abled and disabled) as a life truly lived.
Karen Sutton — December 27, 2006
Ny son Seth just turned 4 on the 23rd of January. We are so blessed by him. Like other parents, our road has been long, but well worth it. Seth was silent until speech therapy started at 2.5 years and now is speaking full sentences, some with emotional content and meaning. I love to hear him talk. We had the wonderful experience of taking him to the movie “happy feet” where he was singing and laughing LOUDLY - it took all the control my husband had to not try to quiet him, until the women in front of us turned around and gave Seth a big kiss and said “today is my birthday and it is so nice to hear a child getting so much enjoyment out of life, what a happy guy” - she then gave Seth a hug and said “Thank you for the best birthday ever” Seth said “your welcome” and THAT made mom and dad cry - for the first time, our son related to someone else and it has not stopped! Thank you to this wonderful community and all the prayers and thank you to that women in the movie theater ! Lastly, everyday I listen to the Garth Brooks song “The Dance” and I think of our journey with Seth - “I could have missed the pain, but I’d a had to miss the dance” Thanks for dancing Seth, lets keep moving!
Tracy A. Terrell
JT is my 4 year old son. I never knew anyone who could be more happy or loving. Like so many other children that have autism, he sees the world in a beautiful light. He reminds me how fun simple things can be. Like closing your eyes on a windy day and letting the wind blow on your face. And how blowing bubbles can go on for hours with him laughing and jumping the whole time. God has blessed me with an autistic son….
Jennifer — January 16, 2007
Meanwhile - if you haven't yet found a great mother's day gift for that mom of a child with special needs, check out this wonderful gallery of printable, frameable appreciations from Terri Mauro, About.com Guide to Parenting Children with Special Needs!
Comments
I am blessed to have a wonderful daughter named Cydanie, who is now 14. She is funny, clever, and affectionate, and she also happens to have autism (moderate to high functioning). I love her and her 10-year-old, neurotypical twin sisters more than anything.
My dear grandmother passed away just a few months before Cyd was born, and I know that when Gramma got to heaven, she picked Cydanie out just for me. She knew that Cydanie would need someone as stubborn as me to “out stubborn” her on days when Cyd doesn’t want to do the things she knows she has to do; who would not give up on her just because it takes her longer to do things or because they have to be done “just so;” who would “interpret” the world for her in ways she can understand and who returns the favor, interpreting her for the world; who would teach her to make her own way in this world.
What I am most grateful to both Gramma and Cydanie for, though, is for what having Cydanie in my life has taught ME. Gramma must have known that I would need someone to teach me to be a more tolerant, accepting, and charitable person, and I think Cydanie has done that. Cyd has taught me to stop always trying to achieve perfection, and to instead, just slow down and enjoy the ride. She’s taught me not to be ashamed of who I am or who she is or what having autism means. In short, Cydanie has made me a better person.
Sure, on a bad day (like the day in second grade when she called her school principal a “hideous baboon”), I sometimes wish there was a “cure.” But on the other 5-6 days per week, I don’t think I’d change her even if I could, because then she wouldn’t be “my” Cydanie. And she has brought so much more to my life than I feel I could ever give to her, I will be grateful to her ’til the end of my days.
She enriches the lives of everyone who comes to know her, and I believe that is her purpose in life. How blessed I am to have a front-row seat for the show. I love you, Cydanie.
Mom
I have seven year old autistic twin boys. Kevin, who has mild PDD and Thomas who is PDD/NOS with autistic tendencies. The developmental gap between them is getting wider and wider. Kevins’ frustration with Thomas is ever apparent. The other day were were all in the living room. Thomas was on the computer scripting a disney movie. Kevin was trying to get him to stop. He went over Thomas, put both of his hands gently on Thomas’ head and started rubbing softly and saying over and over “Thomas, when I am done rubbing your head you will no longer be autistic”. When he was done, Kevin looked at me and said “Don’t worry mom, Thomas will be OK”. Out of the mouths of babes. Mary Janice Galvin
My grandson Eric is two and just recently diagosed with Autism. He is my heart and the joy of my life. Every accomplishment is cause for celebration. His wonderful laugh makes others laugh and each smile is worth millions to us.
Yep, he is my smiley face
Eric and his Mommy Nikki
From Debbie Provost
Schenectady, NY
My brother Michael, who is autistic, was born two days after my twelfth birthday. A month or so after he received his vaccinations, Michael was diagnosed with autism.
This was devastation for my family–mostly for my parents. This also meant severe changes in the way we ran our household.
One day about five years ago, I decided to take Michael to the park; there were a few children off to the side playing and Michael was by himself with his basketball. Well, Michael dropped his ball and it landed right next to another ball that belonged to one of the children off to the side. By honest mistake, Michael grabbed the ball that was not his, and the boy it belonged to rushed over to Michael and began to severely bully him. Seeing this, I ran to my brother’s aid and the kid started calling him horrible names. It was at that point that I realised the world is not as forgiving as I would have liked to hope.
Since then, Michael and I have been inseparable. I take him out every weekend on a “date”, and he helps me do simple chores around the house. I’ve even taken him out when I spend time with my boyfriend. The three of us will go to a park or bowling and then go out for Michael’s favorite meal: pizza.
Since the first day on the playground, Michael has excelled a great deal. Throughout the years, we have all tried to help Michael in our own ways, but I think that he has helped us more than we have helped him. I am now 24, and Michael is the age I was when he changed my life. Since then I have done much thinking and soul searching. Yes, he has a disadvantage, but he gets what every adult wishes for: he gets to stay a little boy longer. I love my brother dearly and I would kill and die for him.