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Your Advice Requested: Is Shared Custody the Wrong Choice for a Child with Autism?

By October 30, 2006

When a couple divorces, children often bounce between two households on a regular basis. This can be tough on some kids, as they adjust and readjust to new surroundings. Transitions are especially hard for a child on the autism spectrum.

One reader writes with a serious concern about shared custody. His ex-wife has suggested that weekly mom-to-dad-to-mom transitions were creating big problems for their son with autism. She suggested cutting down or halting the visits. The dad wants to stay close with his son, but certainly doesn't want to cause him harm!

Have you dealt with shared custody of a child with autism? What has worked well for you? Can you offer any suggestions to this dad?

Comments
October 30, 2006 at 10:35 am
(1) Sandy says:

Fathers have a hard time coping with the issue of having and abnormal child.
Mothers on the contrary are stronger and more practical. Dads do not have the patience and charisma requiere to live with an autistic child. At the end the mother is the one who has to deal with therapists, school, while the Dad is out there seeking for the “perfect family”.

September 27, 2010 at 12:30 pm
(2) jg says:

As the father of a child with Autism, I find the remark very wrong.

I know families with 2 strong parents, I know families where mom has some problems coping, I know families where dad has some trouble.

Please don’t perpetuate myths based on your own unmet needs.

September 29, 2010 at 10:47 am
(3) Proud Father says:

Wow… A general note in writing, “Definitives or generalizations are NEVER a good idea.”

What you’ve done, Sandy, is lump my dead beat ex-wife in with all of the wonderful mothers out there. She doesn’t call our sons more than is convenient for her. She cancels visits for selfish reasons. She practically abandoned them.

No, I am not a perfect father, but I am there for my sons and she is not. I have custody, she has visitation. My son has Asperger’s Syndrome and I have read book after book and taken him to therapists and counselors to get him where he is now. I deal with homework issues, back to school nights and parent teacher conferences. I worry about his T.V. watching habits, small little obsessions Aspies get, and help him cope with friends who don’t understand him. I could go on and on.

Sandy, sure, you might have a crummy ex-husband (ex-boyfriend), but I won custody of my sons for a reason and your closed-minded rant about men being so horrible is exactly that…close-minded. Instead of being so caught up in how a horrible man once treated you, it would be better to concentrate on finding a man who is NOT all of that.

I wish you luck and good strength…with that chip on your shoulder, you might need it.

May 2, 2011 at 4:16 pm
(4) gigi says:

How in the world were you ever awarded custody of your sons? The mother, the mother, always seems to win no Matter what.

Men today more than ever are trying to fight for rights, as they are GOOD fathers

April 6, 2011 at 7:18 pm
(5) ND says:

Wow – how incredibly uninformed you are for making such a generalization….

October 30, 2006 at 1:08 pm
(6) Cynthia Whitfield says:

I agree that the going back and forth is very hard for some children with autism, perhaps even traumatic. The mother sounds like she is trying to do what’s best for her child.

I also understand that the father wants to be close to his child. How about dad visiting his son at the mom’s house most times, with perhaps one overnight a week? If that’s still too disruptive, how about not doing overnights at all until the child si older. Many kids with autism are better able to tolerate change as they grow.

In the meantime, the dad could also take his son out to eat, and do other things in the community with his son if that’s feasible.

Cynthia

October 31, 2006 at 5:29 am
(7) michelle says:

I think that sandy’s comment about mother’s and father’s is a dangerous and cruel generalization. I found cynthia’s suggestions practical. I would add that the Dad try to maintain the child’s routine as much as possible when the child is visiting with him. I hope that the mother is doing her part to minimize the disruption as well.

November 1, 2006 at 11:04 am
(8) M.C. says:

I agree w/ Michele about generalizations. What can really make the difference for this family is the quality of the relationship between the parents and recognizing their common ground. There are numerous ways to compliment and nurture the arrangements, but it takes maturity, looking past differences, and a firm committment to finding the common ground. When two people come together and agree on something, anything is possible. They can make it work. Since every child with autism is unique, it will depend on his/her level of functioning. With my own child, I understand the difficulty a change in routine can make. But so many things contribute to that as well. Keep things positive and reduce any other stressors that might increase the anxiety. As parents, you know your child best. Work together, and it will work out. Unless there are extenuating circumstances, all children should have ample opportunities to develop and maintain a strong bond with both parents — that it crucial to any childs development. The absence of a parent can have it’s own negative effects.

Hope this helps! Best of Luck. Talk to a Social Worker or counselor experienced in this area, to help w/mediation and additional problem solving approaches.

November 2, 2006 at 3:34 pm
(9) P.K. says:

I have to agree with M.C. & Michele regarding generalizations. There are always two sides to every story. I married a man with full custody of his child whom has a disorder on the Autism Spectrum.

We have found that the biological mother visiting in our home in the beginning (she was out of the child’s life for a while) gave our child time to get used to the new situation. We started visitation outside the home on a daytime basis, and as our child has gotten older we have worked into overnight trips. We also found it beneficial to have bedrooms decorated the same at both homes, so our child feels like it is “theirs” no matter which home it is. We also try to follow the same routines and parenting techniques as much as possible.

Not to say this has been easy to achieve, we have maintained steady therapy for our child, but also for all of us as parents. We refer to this as our “parenting meeting” and have used this forum as a way to have an unbiased opinion as to what is in our child’s best interest regardless of our personal preferences. We have an excellent therapist who has gone beyond the call of duty to help us, help our child. Any family going thru a divorce will have difficulties and need extra help to maintain a proper perspective. The main thing any parent or family member should remember is: THE CHILD’S BEST INTEREST.

November 3, 2006 at 11:30 am
(10) L. R. says:

I am a father who has primary custody of an autistic son. It is fair to say that there is often one parent who has an easier time living with an autistic child full-time. Indeed, it is not uncommon for a marriage to dissolve, in part, because of that. I don’t see it as a gender issue, but more of an attitude issue. In our case, I am more of a glass half full person, and my son’s mom is more of a glass half empty person.
My son’s mom truly loves our son, but can’t handle more that a few hours without starting to stress. So, I have an open door policy. This frees her up to visit him without feeling obligated, so she can focus on him, rather than her stress about him not being typical.
The key is to take the ego out of the calculation as to what is in the best interest of the child. Unless there is some egregiously negative behavior on the part of one parent, I see little reason to restrict access to the child. A child is generally best served having regular contact with both parents.
We have to be very careful not to allow our egos to distort the calculation as to what is in a child’s best interest.

November 8, 2006 at 9:28 pm
(11) Cathy says:

I have a 3 year old with Autism and for us it works better that she is with me all the time and he comes to visit at my home. Sometimes it is hard having him in my home but, I know that she needs the stability that she is getting by staying with me all the time. Maybe when she gets older and easier to handle then he will be more patient to try handling her but, until then she stays with me.

November 12, 2006 at 4:32 pm
(12) Sue says:

My son is 16 and things go quite nicely now that my ex and his new wife have given up being so focused on “their” rights regarding custody, etc. My son sees his Dad at his grandparents for dinner once per week and at scouts once per week. Knowing what I do now about Aspergers, I realize that my ex most likely has it as well and was just never diagnosed and therefore never got any treatment. His new wife was not interested in hearing about Aspergers. She has 2 sons who are a year older and a year younger than my son and she wanted my son to just come into their home and act like her kids, eat like her kids (this was the WORST), socialize like her kids, play sports like her kids, etc. My relationship with my ex-in-laws is much better now than it ever was and in fact, they even seem to like my new husband because they see how good he is with and for my son.

December 1, 2006 at 11:17 pm
(13) lb says:

The biological donor of my husband and I’s son came back into the picture after what amonted to a very abusive ‘right’ he and his parents claimed over being biologically related. We had just started to look at the possibility that something was wrong with our son when the court issues started. Our son was diagnosed with ASD yet the court ordered visites away from our home, and with the bio dad who, for the most part, left our son wiht his parents while off flying planes for fun. Our son does not do well with these visits and it is sometimes a few days before we are able to settle him down. It is incredibly stressfull and, to us, unbelievable thta he was ever given access to begin with. We do not believe that biology makes one a parent at all; biology makes one responsible, bieng a parent comes from a different source within both a man and a womans body and is not bound or severed by gentics. We have no idea what we are going to do now that he has access, well shall we say that it is rather his parents that have access since the bio dad apparetnly doesent even stick around after he takes our son. We don’t even know wehrer they go, where they stay for the day (they are from out of town) nor whom they intereact with or what activities they do. What we do know is that our son comes back without haveing been properly cared for, thirsty and most of th etime with a red sore bum – but no water left in his cup and no diapers left in his bag.

How do people handle other irrisponsible people who wave about a biological card and call it a right of a natural parent to do what they want, because no one seems to be couragoues enough to stand up and say NO, this is not right. When it is a choice of a happy harmouniouse life with predictable and constant familiar care and attention verses having people who just want to seemingly shove in our faces thier ‘right’ by gentic link to a child with ASD, well, the fact that they do not even provide us with the whereabouts much less any clue about how his day went or what they did I think speaks for itself.

I guess I am just totally frustrated and absulutly scared right now. I’m starting to rant and I guess it just feels good to say it somehow. But, it does not change the fact that it is my husband and I who must deal with the after effects of thier ‘right’ to visit. Even though it has been somehow turned around to be called a childs right to know his or her biological parent, that in itself takes away the right of a real parent to do the job that each child expects of thier parent. I don’t know. Maybe if I did not come from a traditional family I might feel different, but my husband comes from a single mother family with no dad and I do believe him when he sais that knowing ones past is important, being a part of it is a mattter of choice for when we are able to make that chioce for ourselves. Perhaps having an ASD child makes me feel more protective that one of a normal child, but really, what kind of a person takes a child from a family like he has anyway?

December 8, 2006 at 1:56 pm
(14) Leah says:

My ex-husband and I had problems with visits. I found that waiting on someone else to be ready to see our son made it hard on him. He would be told he’d see Daddy and then would be waiting.
We decided to make visits a regular routine so it would become part of his schedule. Visits start at the same time every week, and end at the same time every week. Now he expects it and his life is much smoother! Hope this helps.

April 1, 2007 at 9:29 pm
(15) John says:

I have a 4 yr old daughter with autism that I am trying to get overnight stays now in my home. We have been divorced for 2 yrs and I have seen my daughter at her house since then. I believe my daughter can handle this transition from her progress she has made. but my ex still thinks I should jump through a million hoops before this can happen. Any comments on this?

April 19, 2007 at 2:59 pm
(16) Sean Paddison says:

I think the important part of all of this is consistency.
Most children with autism embrace and excel under a scheduled consistant environment.

Transitions to and from different homes don’t have to be disruptive if they are layed out clearly ahead of time in a social story.

If the weekly schedule changes all over the place then problems most definately have a greater chance of arising.

It’s probably a good thing if both parents have careers that support the flexibility needed to make the schedule
consistant.
If one parent works as an executive and is required to work late or weekends sporadically, this could obviously cause problems.

However, it is also good to remember that challenges are part of life and will arise everywhere and are often unpredictable. In the life of a person with Autism this is magnified both for them and for those inside their trust circle.

If a parent plays a vital role in the emotional trust and development of a child then it couldnt possibly be helpful to remove that person.

I am the father of a two children with PDD, i’m trained in ABA and IBI princepals and am also a respite services provider for an agency.

However i currently do NOT have primary residence of my son.

I was the a huge part of his development, my ex-wife did not take the courses I did, she continued to work.

So this shows you that just because a parent does not live with the child doesnt mean they can’t DEAL with the challenges, it may mean only that they can’t live with the other parent.

I taught my son to walk, to talk and to play.

I used to take him to school every day and handled most of the parent-teacher communications.

My ex is also trying to convince the court that it’s not good for the children to see me during the week.

She however actually spends very little time with them at all during the week, sending them out to lessons with respite workers or hiring sitters to handle them.

When i visit my kids during the week i help them personally with their homework and deal with social issues with them and take them on field trips to various places.

To take this support from them and subject them to more sitters and more classes (where they are most often scolded for not listening).

If a child has an abusive parent either male or female, it is simply unacceptable.

Parents who continually break promises to visit children and add to the child’s already stressful life need to start thinking about what they are doing and smarten up.

February 7, 2008 at 11:59 pm
(17) Rose says:

I am in the middle of a custody battle right now (he wants sole custody, primary physical custody; I want joint custody/equal time) and our 14 year-old daughter has just been diagnosed with high-functioning Asperger’s. Can anyone out there help me?! She wants to live with her father, and I need to know if we can make equal time work under these circumstances. This battle is vindicative in nature, and has been going on for over two years. I don’t want to lose my daughter.

February 27, 2008 at 1:14 pm
(18) Frustrated Mom says:

I am in the middle of a custody dispute where my son’s Father wants more time. He started out wanting full custody but has settled to 50/50 time with our son. But I don’t see how this is going to be a positive thing for our son. He has mild functioning autism and needs to have a set of rules that he follows. We already have tons of problems because his father doesn’t have him follow these rules at his house as it is. They’re not difficult rules but things like no video games and bed by 8:30 are important things to his development and I’m at a loss as to how to explain this to his father with out pissing him off and causing him to ask for full custody again. He doesn’t spend the time he has with our son and I just don’t see how giving him more time is going to help our son. Autistic children cannot really be generalized because they are all different but it seems to me the one thing they have in common is the need for structure and routine.

March 4, 2008 at 7:30 pm
(19) Victoria says:

I have an 8-year-old son with mild to moderate Autism. I am involved in a custody battle with my ex-husband who is seeking full custody. Due to employment reasons, I had to relocate to the Chicago area from St. Louis, Missouri, which caused my ex to seek full custody. My ex has never been involved in my son’s development and doesn’t believe in set schedules, routines, or structure, which is detrimental to my son. I am at my wits end. The judge is stating that I need to get something from a doctor stating that the best place for my son is with me in Chicago. I tried talking to my son’s neurologist and he said that he could not help me. Right now I just need some kind of assistance. Can someone suggest a doctor, psychologist, social worker, or anyone who can help me with this judge’s request? Any type of help is very much appreciated.

March 14, 2008 at 8:52 pm
(20) J.E.T. says:

#7 on this website sounds exactly like my ex, and I do believe it is. I can hear these exact words coming out of her mouth right now. We are in the process of more visitation with me at my house. Oh ya her name is Cathy too. Everything has been her way, well daddys here to fight for more visitation.

May 7, 2008 at 7:25 pm
(21) Mario says:

J.E.T., you sound scary. No wonder Cathy doesn’t want you around!

August 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm
(22) liz says:

Testosterone is not the key ingredient to life. My ex has had little to do with my son’s development. He used to take him one day a week for 6 hours. Often I would come home from running errands on these days and this bust-out would be parked a block from my home. One time I saw him parked out there for 45 minutes in 90 degree heat. My son was drenched with sweat, his face was red and he was lethargic. My ex drops his son at his parents and lets them exercise his visitation. This is WRONG. If he were interested and sober enough to parent his own child then that is his right but to impose two households on a child with autism when it is not necessary except to protect his own inheritance is immoral and that our court allows it in the name of Fathers Rights is unforgivable. I find that I hate men more each day. First for the abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex. (I have a criminal OP). Now for the patriarchal system that provides my husband with a vehicle to further abuse me at the cost of my son’s development. My son takes days to recover from his visits with my ex in-laws who refuse to follow my schedule and even miss-medicate him. I managed to protect him for 6 straight weeks this summer and he has finally become potty trained. Of course this went backwards when he had to go to their house again.

September 16, 2008 at 12:47 pm
(23) Concerned says:

“Every situation is unique and projecting generalities onto personal matters lends itself to abuse.”
My situation is as follows:
I have tried to be a part of my autistic son’s life from the very beginning. My wife and I divorced right before his birth. Unfortunately I allowed her to dictate the divorce and custody conditions with the ill conceived belief that she would of course always welcome my participation and assistance with my son’s life. Things have always been rough between her and I with both of us on opposite sides of the personality spectrum but I had through the years at least been able to participate and share in my son’s many struggles. My time with that boy is the ultimate experience for me. Then 2 years ago he did something so unintentional and disastrous. One evening I was over at my X’s house playing a game of chutes and ladders with my son when he suddenly stood up looked directly at my and sang a Disney song that has the chorus line “Maybe someday I can come and live with you”. Unfortunately my X was standing right there. I could feel the tension in the room! I tried to play down the meaning of the song by complimenting him on his voice and saying let’s get back to the game. Then to my surprise about a half hour later, he again suddenly stops playing the game, stands and again looking directly into my eyes sings the song. My X again was standing not far away. I knew that very moment she would never willingly allow me to see my son again. I was right. That was the last time she willingly allowed me to see him. We have been in court now for several years. She keeps using his condition as a justification for limiting my contact with my son. In the last 2 years I have only seen my son for 20 hours. This is killing me! Her jealousy of the close relationship that my son and I have is so damaging to my son. I have never, and would never consider saying one bad thing to my son concerning my X. I want him to be as close as possible to his mom. A mother’s love is a most wonderful thing but a father’s love is also a wonderful thing and my son has a right to that also.

November 22, 2008 at 12:42 am
(24) concerned says:

Custody issues with autism are tremendous. The courts have no idea what autism is and there is a stigma attached to the parent that has been most involved in the child’s life. There is an unspoken blame that comes with the parent that assists the child’s needs. It is not easy nor rewarding at times. I have an abusive ex spouse that takes liberty at knocking my motherhood down as he describes the most bizarre accounts in court. The courts have no choice but to believe this manipulative, calculated and dramatic father. My job is hard enough without the critical, demeaning mind games that play out in court.

January 1, 2009 at 4:37 pm
(25) Stephanie Hill says:

Hello:
I am going through a divorce now and I have an 11 year old with autism. I have been the one who has seen our son go through process of recovery from autism. I was there when he was diagnosed at age two, I have been the one who attends the IEP meetings, takes him to the therapy sessions, etc. and his father has done nothing. He has always been in denial. And he is trying to get physical custody. I am not kidding. Is there any advice or websites someone can recommend to me? Please email me at steph_librarian@yahoo.com with any information that can help me convince the judge of my case?

July 28, 2009 at 10:40 am
(26) Jan says:

I am writing this on behalf of my niece who is starting the divorce process. Her husband of almost 6 years has been having an affair for a while now, and has moved in with his parents. They are the parents of a 5 year old austistic son and a 2 year old son. My niece has been the main caretaker of the boys, taking their autistic son to all his appts. and getting him to the point where he is functioning better and more social. His father has done nothing for him, and has spenet very little time with the children, preferring to go to the bars at night due to his being so “depressed” over the state of his marriage. He was arrested in 2005 for drunk driving and cocaine possession, and has continued to use drugs, even stupidly bringing some with him when they came for Christmas visits and offering some to his younger brother-in-law! Yet, he doesn’t think this will impact their custody hearing, and has admitted to opening her mail and making photocopies of her credit cards to show the judge she is financially irresponsible. Excuse me…isn’t cocaine possession a criminal offense? Not to mention opening someone else’s mail if your name isn’t on it? He is so delusional, he thinks he is above the law! Any one have any advice for her besides a good lawyer? She is meeting with one today.

August 4, 2009 at 10:00 pm
(27) Scared to Leave My Name says:

I found this looking for proof that overnight visits on a school night are harmful. It has been for my autistic 6 year old and apparently reporting this truth is not enough.
He has been spending every other weeknight at a different parents house. I thought this would end with the guardian ad litem evaluation but she recomends that the same visitation continue.
Let me specify. We live over an hour apart. His dad takes him to school in the morning. He is supposed to pick him up from school but doesn’t, so my boyfriend who is very good with him watches him until his dad picks him up. (He works from home.)
Sometimes when he got off the school bus after a dad visit, he would lay down on the sidewalk. After a night at his dads he would sometimes refuse to do any of his school work (special ed kindergarten). Afternoons after a night at his dad’s I saw him display different behavior, seeming exhausted, yet less willing to sleep at bedtime.
Help! Anyone have good websites where I can print something that says this is not healthy?
For those of you struggling, here is my advice.
Document everything. I know your tired as this is a horrible situation and draining. Try typing it up in emails, writing 1 sentence notes, whatever you can. Get people to photograph you doing things together. Keep copies! I made the mistake of giving the Guardian ad Litem everything.
Get people to help. This is hard, no one wants to be involved! This is what I ask. “I’m not asking you to take sides. I’m only asking you to tell the truth of what you have witnessed.” People feel more comfortable if they are only reporting how my son has acted in their presence. Also asking people for their recomendations helps. So maybe you can’t get the professionals to put their jobs on the line for you (they don’t want to be sued by your ex) but they’d be more than happy to say their professional opinion on what is best. (This diet, this amount of therapy, not skipping summer school, how to handle tantrums, how to talk to your child, etc.)
Get as much proof as you can about the other person. I have zero proof of him spanking hard, breaking things in front of our autistic son, swearing, giving him excessive junk food, etc.

January 13, 2010 at 11:12 am
(28) G says:

JET I’m with ya. In this world with so many fathers getting beat up for not spending more time with their kids, all these women seem to think they are so much better than us. B.S. It comes down to parenting and is indifferent to gender. Babying a austistic child is NOT the answer. BALANCE! As a supremely devoted father, we are fighting a stigma against mothers who think they know better. There are tons of studies, and as many studies that say no transferrence, there are just as many that say get the child into more social environments. Once again, common sense and balance are pivotal. Stay strong fathers. We want what is right, nothing more.

April 2, 2010 at 10:08 am
(29) michelle says:

Sandy, I strongly disagree with your comments posted. It may be that the majority of fathers cannot properly(cope) with a child who has autism but that is not always the case. My husband for example. My step-son is nine and he has autism, he has lived with his father for two and a half years now. With little help from the mother. I must say that I am very proud of how he has taken care of my step-son. It as nothing to do with the sex of the parent. It has to do with what is inside of that individual. I dont have to tell you that there are two types of people. Givers and takers. You have to be a giver when you have a special needs child. Every case is different. If you have a child you know that there isnt another like them. Special needs or not. Just as all moms arent able to cope with having an autistic child. I hope there are more men out there like my husband. If not, its really sad for those kids. They need both parents even more than a “normal” child does.

April 2, 2010 at 10:08 am
(30) michelle says:

Sandy, I strongly disagree with your comments posted. It may be that the majority of fathers cannot properly(cope) with a child who has autism but that is not always the case. My husband for example. My step-son is nine and he has autism, he has lived with his father for two and a half years now. With little help from the mother. I must say that I am very proud of how he has taken care of my step-son. It as nothing to do with the sex of the parent. It has to do with what is inside of that individual. I dont have to tell you that there are two types of people. Givers and takers. You have to be a giver when you have a special needs child. Every case is different. If you have a child you know that there isnt another like them. Special needs or not. Just as all moms arent able to cope with having an autistic child. I hope there are more men out there like my husband. If not, its really sad for those kids. They need both parents even more than a “normal” child does.

July 19, 2010 at 6:43 pm
(31) Autism Custody Battles says:

I just want you to be aware that the courts will be biased to a mother who keeps stressing how much she has done for the child. The more occupied you are with that, the more chances that they will TAKE AWAY your parental rights, due to being ‘harmful’ to your child! This is happening to mothers across the world where Autism is involved in the custody case. I wrote about this on my blog http://autismcustodybattles.wordpress.com/ and I urge you to read it carefully before asking the courts for anything for your child. You may be saying all the right things, but shooting yourself in the foot. Best of luck.

September 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm
(32) KC says:

I have been going through a custody battle with my ex-husband and I just found out today from his new wife that my son was diagnosed with autism last week. My current husband is military and we moved to Germany in 2008. My ex did not want to let his son leave the country, so I had to leave him behind with his father. I didn’t have a big problem with that because I thought he could get to know his dad better since I had had sole custody since the divorce. My son went through separation anxiety and had some tremendous separation issues when I left. Apparently, between me leaving, having to learn his father’s rules, starting new school, etc. it sparked his autism to rear its ugly head. Everything that has gone wrong with my son, my ex has said that it’s all been my fault. I have been fighting just to see him and had to fight to talk to him on the phone. I now call him at 6pm 2 days a week and midnight 2 other days a week my time here in Germany. I have every other weekend visitation, which is hard because I can’t fly back that much from Germany. My ex is constantly telling me that no one in my family can talk to him unless it’s on my time, which isn’t fair to me in my eyes. I don’t know I would have made any other decision to leave if his autism was really showing itself at 6. He tells me that he understands and wishes he could have come with me. He misses me and I miss him, and at times I feel like a bad mother because I left him, but I know he is in a safe environment with his dad. It hurts me to not have him in my daily life but it kills me that I cannot have a daily influence in his life. So this is my story and what I’ve gone through. My lawyer and I are working on get a guardian et litem to get a better view on things since I am so far away.

November 11, 2010 at 4:13 pm
(33) Tamara says:

I have a grandson on the spectrum. He and his mom live my husband and me. There is a restraining order against this boy’s dad. Two days ago, a picture showed up on his facebook page(the dad) drinking a beer with his left hand and a new black pistol in his right. The dad has visitation every weekend but one. We live in Michigan does anyone have any ideas?

April 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm
(34) ND says:

The above comment was meant for Sandy…I have 2 children with autism and certainly wouldn’t want you raising them with that mindset. Their father is wonderful with both of them and fortunatly for our boys we BOTH bring something to the table. Your poor kid will never have ability with good relationships even if there was no asd incvolved – not with that attitude.

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