Autism and the Brain
Monday October 23, 2006
One of the best things about being the About.com Guide to Autism is having a great reason to call and interview some of the top names in the field. Dr. Nancy Minshew is one such person. A professor of psychiatry and neurology at the University of Pittsburgh, she's been responsible for some of the most significant brain-related research in the field of autism. This article explains some of the most important findings on the autistic brain, and describes how apparently unrelated research can help move us closer to understanding causes of and treatments for autism.
Dr. Minshew is not only a major researcher -- she's also a person with strong opinions. While she agrees that the general public needs to become more accepting of differences, she is also definite that people on the autism spectrum need to learn and practice courtesy skills.
If I had a child with autism, I would need to decide that I would revamp how I act and how I speak. Courtesy skills are critical. Proper language is critical. Respect is critical. ...People can be different, they can be odd -- but being socially offensive is quite different. I'm talking about the kinds of manners and etiquette than everyone should have. I do agree that autistic people think differently and are sometimes distinguishable -- and it calls on the public to be accepting. But socially inappropriate comments [from people on the autism spectrum] are also unacceptable.What's your take on this issue? Are courtesy skills critically important for people on the autism spectrum?
Comments
As a parent of a boy on the autistic spectrum, and as a speech therapist who works with kids with autism, I agree that social skills are very impt. But we all have different definitions of what is offensive/acceptable. Once you understand that those with autism have little or no social awareness due to a neurologically-based brain impairment, you may find that you can be more open-minded when an autistic person comments with blunt observation that someone is bald, or fat, or perhaps gives intimate info about themselves or a family member. To speak or act without regard for how others will react is one hallmark of autism, because those who have it cannot put themselves in another’s shoes. They cannot reflect, nor do they have the inner motivation we have to be liked or to please. So for me, I would be accepting of some behaviors/comments from those with autism because I realize that they are usually not capable of meeting the norm expectations for manners. I would never, though, accept dangerous or hostile behavior, nor would I stand for vulgar language. I believe that the public has far more work to do in accepting the ‘odd’ behavior people with autism often display, and hopefully reach the point where they can see past it to the real person inside…
When my mother began as a principal, she complained in shock about a child with Downs Syndrome who ‘was so rude…stuck her tongue out at everyone, all day.” Later she learned that many kids with Downs have oversized tongues and open-mouthed postures…here was a girl who had no choice but to have her tongue hang out.
How ashamed my mother was. We could all do with both more facts about autism, and more compassion.
Good manners have been drilled into my son since he began to talk — long before he got his diagnosis. An early problem was that he would say please without specifying what he wanted. I would try to prompt him with “please what?” but he would just repeat after me “please what.” A more recent problem is that he expects other kids to say thank you when he does something nice for them, and he doesn’t know quite how to handle it when they don’t react as expected. We’re also working on saying goodbye with eye contact and a smile. It may not always be easy to teach autistic children good manners, but it can turn out to be one of their strengths — my son’s teachers say he’s much better mannered than most regular kids his age.
I definitely aggree children with autism can be taught good manners. Most of their social behaviour has to be taught in concrete steps anyway, its not like it is instinctove.
I had the same problem with my son at an early age, “please what” was one of his favourite phrases. Bt we persisted, and persisted, and persisted……..
you know what its like!!!
Today he is 17, has just graduated from high school, and over the years many people have commented on his good manners and polite way of speaking. I still have to prompt him at times, but that will go on his whole life I expect.
Now, I am going to concentrated on my nearly 3 yo daughter who has also been diagnosed with autism.
But I firmly believe all children can be taught some degree of good manners, at times I would drive people mad, they would say a casual hello, but I would make my son repeat “Hi John, how are you” and look at the face, until he got the whole procedure correct. It used to drive me mad too, so much repetition, but it does pay off in the end.
I also find most people are quite tolerant, if they understand WHY a child behaves as they do. When my son told a lady she shouldn’t be eating cake because she was too fat, I had a quiet word to her, and she was fine. I do this because I don’t want people thinking my son is a “naughty” boy, he’s not – he has a neurobiological disorder – and its amazing how many people respond with the story of someone with autism in their own lives.
Works for us anyway.
wow you said it about repatition!and that is one of the keys to getting through. my 11 year old son gets mad at me for prompting him so much.i keep telling him that we have to do some things over everyday.and that every day is a new day that we get a chance to try to do it again.he gets mad when things don’t work for him the way they do for others. hey immitates all kinds of things. he does things to get reactions from people who dont approach him correctly. he works well with relationship oriented teaching.manners is a tough subject but they can be learned.just as acceptence can be learned,but happiness is what really counts. thats just my opinion though….gw
I have a son who is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, all sorts of sensory problems, PTSD, too many to list. Some docters say beginning of Tourettes syndrome,others disagree. Most people don’t have any idea what Autism Spectrum Disorder is, even teachers look at me like I’m speaking another lanquage. I just found this site and am excited to hear what others have to say about their experiences. My son is 18 now and we just had to move from Montana to Texas which has been extremely hard for my son. Starting a new school in senior year is hard for a “normal” child. My son is for the most he behaves appropriately in most situations. He is much worse when in a crowded scene with alot of commotion. My main problem seems to be quite common after reading others comments, which is his inappropriate lanquage and comments (as in saying exactly what he feels, as in fat,bald etc.) The worse problem is his foul lanquage which he thinks there is no reason he shouldn’t use those words especially in public. A few of those words he knows the meaning, but most he does not know. When I get my husband to explain what the words mean, my son is very embarrassed, but will do it again and again. I know he learns alot of bad lanquage at school but definetly not at home. I do disagree with Dr. Minshew’s comments about being able to teach these kids not to use socially inappropriate comments. Like some of you have said, tell them thousands of times a day doesn’t work with all kids with these disorders. He also has many sensory problems and been in therapy for that for many years with small improvement. This makes his eating habits very irratic at best. Many people have said “just make him put in his mouth”. Any of you tried that and have to clean the vomit from the entire room?? Does anyone else have the problem of the type of clothes their kids will wear? Mine says he doesn’t like how it feels. He’s 6′7 and 180lbs so finding clothes isn’t easy anyway and when he doesn’t like how it feels…His comfort clothes is mostly black. His main comfort item is a long leather trench coat which he wore until the weather was way too warm for it. We didn’t have the gang activity in Montana, evidently it’s bad here so his new school will not let him wear the trench coat (that was devastating)like taking pacifier away from a baby. They tried keeping him out of the black clothes but there I got the last word. He is a very happy well liked young man with a wonderful sense of humor. Just don’t want everyone to think everything is negative. He is the best of my life and I’m excited watching him grow and learn. His plans are to learn enough to become a programmer and tester for video games, even has his college picked out. Thanks to all of you who are reading my rantings.
I have provided opportunity and encouraged my High Function with other diagnosis under the Spectrum of Autism daughter turning 16 this summer,to use manners. She has the skill to do so. However, everything gets prioritzed in her head. She dives into the food as the waitress sets it down at a resturant and walks away she shouts out thank you. Other times she says it on the proper cue. Sometimes I give her a gentle reminder. All this drives her Dad and Step-mom crazy. They berate her in public and tell me I never taught her manners. They believe I caused her Autism also and I have the power to undo it somehow. Or at least not keep contributing to it. I like her just the way she is.