The myth says that people with autism are unable to read others' emotions...unable to empathize...and often have limited emotions of their own. Yet many people on the autism spectrum are not only empathetic and emotionally responsive, but seem MORE emotional than their typically developing peers. They may respond more intensely to others' feelings -- crying when others cry, for example. They may need more hugs and loving reassurance. They may even empathize more fully, asking and really listening for answers to why another person is sad, upset, or angry.
Perhaps the myth of emotional coldness comes from the early days of autism, when the term meant "profoundly withdrawn." Today, though, it seems far from the mark. What are your thoughts?
I beleive they are to a degree. They often mimick another person/child and may be empathetic that there is something different and listen to understand. My Asperger’s son can’t point out why but does feel more especially those close to him. His feelings are within himself and do not have words he can put to them (at least not the correct terminology till he learns through therapy).
I believe some autistic individuals do experience emotion. My oldest son ,who is autistic, will hug and say to my youngest son “don’t cry”, if he sees him crying. That’s more than I can say for some so called “normal” people.
it’s possible he doesn’t feel or experience emotion. my spouse told me not to cry in front of him. so I cry in my car. your son may not like the facial jestures when his brother cries. the look on his face makes your autistic son uncomfortable. has nothing to do with emotions. but read into it what you need or want to see.. that’s what we all have been doing.
Everyone is different, autism or not. I have worked extensively with individuals in this population and have seen emotional ranges across the board. We cannot make global statements regarding individuals with autism being “cold” or “affectionate”, as every person is different. Also, their emotional responses will change from day-to-day depending on their mood, sleep level, etc. just like any one of us. I am very glad that there has been a reversal of the idea that individuals with autism are “cold”, this is progress…
The question of emotion is interesting. When my son was younger, he was much less caring about other people’s feelings. It was very upsetting, because although he was very sensitive to his own feelings — crying or having a fit when upset, for instance, he was not responsive to others.
Slowly this changed. Now, he is the first one to come running if he hears someone say “ouch” from another room. He had to leave school because he felt so bad when the other kids had meltdowns at school all the time — and he didn’t used to seem to really notice! It just seems he “woke up” and began to feel and emphasize with emotions.
The problem is that he can’t tell if what sounds like an emotional outburst is really just that. When he was still in school, there was one kid with autism (who by the way, was an emotionally cold child), who made all kinds of loud sounds randomly. My son interpreted these as upset sounds — so he would get very upset and frightened. Explanations that the child was just vocalizing and not upset didn’t help — he is low-functioning and couldn’t understand the explanations. So it’s hard for him to sort all of this out.
In the meantime, he is a very sweet, loving child. If anyone is sad he says, “Poor… and gives them a hug.
Our 4 year old son has Asperbergers. He used to be extremly agressive and didn’t care if he hurt you or made you cry. We decided to medicate him and his meltdowns are no longer violent outburst but are now emotional outbursts. He is an extremly sucky boy, and crys at anything but I’ll take that over agression. I’ve also noticed that he can flip back and forth, one day he’ll hurt his sister and not care and the next day he’ll cry if she’s upset.
Laura
My son will be eight soon in oct, Every day there id aleay somthing that’s wrong even if everything is right.He Cry’s scream’s at me he want’s friend’s for a little bit then they to go home , He still as potty act! I tell him all day long to go . i get mom leave me alone .He does’nt read bodymovement’s everyday he does the emotional take for everything my family say all his behavoir is my fault an there nothing wrong he has as,pdd,ocd,adhd my day are long one’s this year was first year with his disorder with a doctor and his school helping me as well seven year with no help bad doc, she said nothing wrong it was my parting skill’s i went to classes for my son so if some tell you doc or not nothing wrong just try someone new now thing are better .
My daughter Jordan is 6yo and starting first grade this year. She has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism and communicates fairly well. Jordan is over sympathetic when another person has an emotion such as anger or sadness. She brings the emotion on to herself and mimics their behavior, even after the persons behavior has stopped. If we go to the park and a toddler, for example, cries, she will get very upset and cry uncontrolably long after the toddler has stopped. If a parent gets angery with their child and repremands them in a firm voice around Jordan, she will join that parent and start yelling also. There are days that this is worse than others. I’ve tried hugging her and removing her from the situation. I’ve tried reading her books about separting her feelings from others. I’ve tried a little tough love and explain that she can’t cry like that at school, the other kids will “tease” her. Nothing has really worked so far. She’s over sensitive and hopefully time and maturity will help her find coping mechinisms to deal with her emotions.
I’ve been working with Autistic children for nearly 2 years now as a Supprot Worker in a Residential setting. Emotionally the children are aware depending on their level of understanding is whether they empathize or not. Some of the children that stay with us termly board. Can get quite emotional when missing their families. It sadens me in these situations when they are probably wandering the question why me? I still believe that austism is still very much the unknown. We have improved our understanding but still have a long way to go before making such comments as we have done before. The imagination of some of these children are extradordinary and the sense of humour is well makes my job feel veryn important to me.
I might be a lil off topic here but I want make a point. My son is autistic he’s 2 and half years old. Considering that I believe at such a young age he’s still developing and learning his emotions. I believe all autistic kids have emotions in them. Everybody does!!!! The thing though everyone I come to realize whats drives us as Human Beings to Learn to push forward. It all comes from within, it alls comes from our emotions. What makes you want to fall in love, or cry at sappy movie or connect with somebody. It is all our emotions. That what drives are behaviour and people with autism. It is all the same. I believe for my son case he still learning and learning to deal with his emotions. When i seen for first time a year in christmas he was emotionless, he sat in a corner throwing a ball against a wall. Im not saying he has no emotions he has all of the emotions but he’s not yet expressing them and letting them out. Now if im able to get a smile on his face to get him moving to get him feeling you would not be able to tell he was autistic. He’s eye contact increases he is more aware and he begins to even try to tlak saying thing like mama, dada and even said duck pushing a button of a duck. Then eventually after the excitement runs out he loses he’s emotion and drive then continues to spin things and ext. I think its very valuable for all of us parents and workers with autism to realize that ALL emotions are very valuable. Imagine if you did’nt know to feel happy , frusterate or sad. you would not know what to do. You would not be able to tell or distinguish the difference between right and wrong. You probaly sit on the floor and spin things all day cause you have the emotion of boredom. Help autistic experience their emotions and how to deal with them. When my son gets frusterated trying to set up his circles in a perfect pyramid then fails and begins to throw them on the ground. I simply give them back to him rub his back and encourage him to try agian. That he can do it then when it gets it done I jump in the air so he knows he has done good which give him the emotion of achievement. If he learns to deal how to get through frusteration everything the he will get frusterated about he will learn push and break through and find a way. To never give up. There so much I can say all the topic but really everybody Express yourself and let autistic kids express themselves. Dont deny them the right to freak out, the right to say hey im pssed off. Let them be mad as hell so they wont take it anymore. This will create changes. You can direct guide and influence but you can never force. Thats my thought so express yourself dododododdod.
My son laughs when we are angry, so anger cannot work as a motivator as it would with a typical -d kid. The firm tone doesn’t work because he cannot read it. What can we deny him when he doesn’t play with anything? It is hard to address his behaviors without the leverage that comes when a kid response to their parent’s emotions.
Do you think the Flower Feelings Learning kit could help your autistic child recognize and understand feelings?
Why is it then that my 20 year old autistic son finds it funny when he sees people cry and when he meets someone he has been wanting to see he tries to either bite or pinch them? It is becoming a big problem at the moment as I’m sure you can imagine!
their facial jestures might make him uncomfortable. he he may be expressing his dislike/discomfort with their jesture.. his agression my be how he reacts to the discomfort.
it’s not that he finds it funny, i myself have aspergers syndrome (i’m 28) i giggle when people are crying because i don’t know how to deal with it, and nerves and worry for the person make me nervous which also makes me giggle. People with autism/aspergers have problems expressing their emotions and feelings (be it giggling when people are crying and being angry when they are upset).
i also forgot to add, that if he has got himself into a routine of hitting/biting people when he meets them, thats what he believes his greeting should be, so he will do it all the time, as it becomes part of his routine. When i walk past people in the street, i always say hello, some say hello back, most times iget ignored. You could try to tell your son its wrong to bite/hit people and try to introduce him to another way of greeting people that he can fit into his routine. Hope this helps
I believe that the referring article was more about adults with varying degrees of autism spectrum. I see that most of the comments that were left were about children.
Here is what I seek, as a woman married to someone whom recently discovered that he has ASD. The most difficult characteristic that has continued to damage our marriage is self-implosive responses to stressful situations.
What most of us consider normal adult stresses, such as following through tasks such as paying a bill, or dealing with minor concerns of adult children, he implodes! He withdraws. In the past he would even self-medicate, causing complete isolation from friends and family…and from me as well. He abandons dealing with issues that when married, a couple makes these sorts of decisions together. While I am forced to make the decision, later he criticizes me for making the decision without him. It is a lose lose situation for me most often then not!
On the surface, he appears to be strong both physically and emotionally. It can be quite confusion for me as well as painful and dysfunctional for the both of us.
He tries to educate himself on this condition, but when it comes to actually picking-up the tools to manage it effectively, he now uses the diagnosis as a means of justifying his behavior and reactions instead! Am I correct so say that ASD is a reason for his behavior, but not an excuse?
when a hooker has a kid and expects it to be normal after months of drug abuse!!! get real
autistic people tend to memic what they see. if you cry, they cry.. not because they feel your pain, but because they are doing what you do in order to fit into the situatiuon. some autistics do not like hugs or touching as these cause over stimulation and over stimulation causes distress and discomfort to some autistics. asking why a person is crying, angry or upset is their way of trying to associate the actions, facial jestures, etc of that person with the word and your definition provided. it may have nothing at all to do with feelings. many autistics develop rules and word/action association. you say someone is ’sad’.. from their mental database, sad should cry, make strange sounds different from sounds of fun and happy. none of this has to do with feelings.