Parenting an Adult Child with Asperger Syndrome
Thursday May 18, 2006
As children with Asperger Syndrome grow up, they gain independence -- but even as adults, they may have difficulty interpreting social signals. Sometimes lack of social insight can lead to trouble. Is that smile friendly or romantic? Did that frown mean disapproval, or just a bad mood?
For parents, it's tempting to jump in and "fix" the situation. But is that instinct coreect? Kate Goldfield, a young adult with Asperger Syndrome, addresses a parent's question about parenting a young man who plans to leave home in search of love.
Comments
This isn’t a singularly Aspie issue; any parent wants to stop their children from making mistakes. But that’s part of being an adult. Your role as a parent is to provide support and encouragement, to be someone who your offspring feel able to discuss things through with, to be a soft place to fall if things go awry.
Sure there are pitfalls for Aspies that NTs don’t have, but it’s an NT world and only by living and experiencing it can we find a path for ourelves. Living sheltered means you’ll never find your true place or true potential. But having the freedom to go and try, but knowing there’s somewhere to turn when you need help, that’s what enables a person to become an indepndent adult. Aspies aren’t the only ones who struggle in the NT world; most NTs do too.
Hi
I need help. I love my adult son deeply and want to be there for him, but any mention of him being anything but perfect or expression of my feelings put him immediately on the defence. He’s indpendent, holds a good job etc.
It seems to me that I either let him dictate the terms of our relationship or don’t have one with him at all.
Is there a middle ground that stops me feeling stone walled?
Help